Gay marriage has been an issue for many years now. In fact, I’ve got a couple of gay friends in the US, who are engaged and plan to wed soon.
In 2004, a 58-year-old nurse brought the very first case of Filipino transsexual marriage issue.
Donita Ganzon-Gold, who is in the country, became an international issue and very controversial especially within the Filipino community.
She was a registered nurse and a registered woman. Asked how long has she been gay, she simply says, "I am a woman, I’m not gay."
Truly, Donita is a woman physically and at heart.
Even if you take one long look at her, you would never think she used to be a member of the opposite sex before.
She is beautiful, charming and soft-spoken. She became known to the world when her husband was denied a green card when they showed up at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services, and she casually mentioned she had a sex change in 1981.
Although she was legally registered as a woman on both her passport and driver’s license, they still didn’t honor that as a paperwork.
At 60, Donita still looks at least 10 years younger. She’s also very lively and fun to chat with.
Donita stayed in Bataan before migrating to the US 33 years ago.
During her college years, the struggle to fit in and become "normal" was definitely present.
"I was in college, nearly graduating nursing. I was a gay and fell in love with a straight Filipino man. I was in college while he was in high school.
"He knew I was a man. But I was flirting with him at the parlor. And then one day, I invited him out for a drink and we had a good time. That was about it. Then the second time, we drank again, we had a good time and then we made love," she explains.
After that, Donita migrated to the States and didn’t see this man for 12 years.
"I got the operation done in 1981. I saw him again in 1987. My father passed away and I went to see him. He knew my father and some of my sisters.
"He was like – oh my God – amazed at how beautiful I looked as a woman. Since then, we never separated. He was more in love with me. We never got married because we didn’t have a mental chemistry. I became very Westernized and he’s very conservative."
At present, this man, whom Donita refers to as "Willie," is living in Australia along with his wife and kids. They still stay in touch.
Donita has been engaged thrice ever since she became a woman. She was engaged to an American man and didn’t find out about her sexuality until during the relationship itself.
Details of these very interesting events in her life will soon be published in a book.
Jiffy Javellana was the lucky man who caught her heart in 2001. They got married in Las Vegas.
They are still married. But now, the relationship has been on the rocks over the past two years.
Donita says, "I don’t love him anymore, but we’re still married. I’m still hoping this marriage will work out. In 2006, I felt the relationship was cooling off and there was another woman. But I could feel he still loves me because he keeps saying ‘You’re the best woman I’ve ever had. You’ll always be number one.’"
She is now in Manila for a vacation until the end of the month and planning to publish her book mid-2007.
The book consists of her story. She says, "Well, of course, why not (on putting her life in book form). It needs to be told. I have a message. These are stories of struggle, hardships and triumph.
"We all have problems, but mine is different. I’m hoping the book will make people understand what a transsexual is all about. These are mostly positive responses to the changes I went through.
"It was a miracle that happened. I feel and live like a woman. I don’t need to explain to anyone who I am, what I am. There’s no such thing as hiding, the truth will always come out.
"The Lord knows I tried to be straight, but I wasn’t."
Donita is a great inspiration to those who aspire to become a woman all the way. Her advice to them is, "Follow your heart. It must come from the heart. No one should dictate or no one should influence that you want to become a woman.
"You become a woman because, in your heart, you’re not happy as a man. You’re not happy as a boy, and you’re not happy as a gay boy.
"Because what is inside you will show, the sincerity of your purpose to be a woman. And things will come out naturally."
Donita’s case is still ongoing and they’ve got a court hearing to attend to in a couple of months.
This "woman" is indeed a good person at heart and means well in everything she does. She is what I call, "more than a woman."
Have a great Sunday!