Mga halu-halong hula-hula 2007

If I were Madame Auring and any or all of the other manghuhula who surface like wild mushrooms this time of the season, I would make the following surefire "predictions" and get a 100 percent batting average:

1. Kris Aquino will give birth sometime in May.

2. Donna Cruz will give birth also sometime in May.

3. Claudine Barretto will give birth later this year.

4. Patricia Javier will give birth during the first quarter of this year.

5. Danica Sotto will get married to her boyfriend, basketball player Mark Pingris, anytime this year.

6. But Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo won’t be tying the knot this year...

7....and neither will Jolina Magdangal and Bebong Muñoz (who’s running for congressman in Caloocan City in this May’s elections)...

8....nor Sen. Mar Roxas and Korina Sanchez (who is being wooed by various groups to run for Senator also in this May’s elections).

9. Loren Legarda and Tito Sotto will run, again for Senator, also in this May’s elections.

10. The 2007 Metro Filmfest will still be held in December this year.

Why "surefire"? Simply because these are among the stories we’ve been hearing again and again in radio showbiz programs and showbiz talk shows, and reading over and over again in movie columns (this one included).

You guessed it: I’m trying to show you how easy it is to make showbiz predictions. You don’t have to wear a (magic?) turban, fondle a crystal ball, shuffle a deck of cards or scan the sky to "foretell" what’s in store for earth-bound stars in the next 12 months. All you have to do, as I’ve just done, is go over your pile of 2006-dated movie magazines and review what has been covered by showbiz talk shows.

And, voila, you, too, can be a manghuhula!

Here now are Funfare’s "traditional" Mga Halu-Halong Hula-Hula for 2007, 10 "blind items" and 10 "wide-awake" items:

First, the "blind items":

1. A singer-actor will finally make an earth-shaking confession and put to rest the nasty rumor hounding him these past years. All ears, please!

2. A couple will break up – amicably (read: no charges and counter-charges), let’s hope!

3. A separated couple will bury the hatchet and kiss and make up.

4. A young actress will give birth out of wedlock.

5. A couple will finally migrate to the US with their children.

6. Two shows each in GMA and ABS-CBN will fold up middle of the year – or even earlier.

7. A popular TV host will switch channels – I mean, will jump ober da bakod to a rival station.

8. An actor-politician will get involved in a politically-motivated controversy.

9. Another actor-politician will drastically change his political plans for fear of being mercilessly clobbered by his opponent in this May’s elections.

10. The in-fighting (caused by intrigues and "pride") at a network’s News and Public Affairs department will rage on, to the detriment of the company. A bigwig is after the head of a subordinate.

* * *

And now, the "wide-awake" items:

1. Kris Aquino and husband James Yap’s first-born will be a girl.

2. Claudine Barretto and Raymart Santiago’s first-born will be a boy.

3. Vic Sotto and Pia Guanio will not marry this year (not because Vic’s daughter Danica is getting married and "sukob sa taon" is supposed to bring bad luck) or in the near future. They will just continue to enjoy their blissful togetherness. Why rock the boat?

4. Oyo Sotto and Angel Locsin will iron out whatever differences they have and get back together again. Their romance is founded on deep friendship, that’s why, and it’s a strong foundation.

5. More controversies will rock this year’s Metro Filmfest. Otherwise, a "quiet" Metro Filmfest will not be a "usual" Metro Filmfest at all.

6. Film/CD pirates will be around for many, many more years to come. Yes, sadly it’s a question of economics. If you can buy a pirated tape for P80 per and have the whole family (nay, the whole barangay!) watch it, why pay more than P100 to watch a movie at the theater by your lonesome?

7. Only 30 percent (a friendly estimate) of actors/actresses running in this May’s elections will win. Like movie fans, voters are now (hopefully!) more intelligent and more discerning.

8. GMA’s Eat, Bulaga! should watch out. Rival ABS-CBN’s Wowowee might pull the rug from under its feet.

9. Yes, definitely, the Sexbomb will be back on Eat, Bulaga! soon. What will happen to the show’s EB Babes? No, they won’t be relegated as Sexbomb’s back-up dancers.

10. Dolphy and Zsa Zsa Padilla will – finally, finally! – get married, presumably abroad, away from the maddening crowd. (If, and that’s the Big If, the legal block will be cleared.)

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