Cliff Richard is coming!

Curtain-raisers:

• Henceforth, I will call him Jack The Ripper (figuratively speaking, of course, because he rips the mostly girls he takes fancy on; rip as in r-i-p, huh, and not with an "a" after "r" and an "e" after "p"). Reacting to yesterday’s Curtain-raiser item about "Jack" (a fictitious name) and Goldilocks (same), my DPA said that Jack is a real girl-killer. "He just ‘toyed’ with ‘Goldilocks,’ his comedienne-singer co-host," said the DPA. "His real target is a member of the sexy dance group which performed in the show. The girl is as young as Jack’s eldest daughter (with a taray actress)." So enamored is Jack with the sexy dancer that he now reports to the show every day. And he can’t control himself, added the DPA. "After the group’s dance number, Jack would pull the girl aside and suffocate her with kisses (pinupupog ng halik)." Oops! Isn’t it sexual harassment, corruption of a minor? If Jack The Ripper is not careful, a sex scandal might rock the show. Meanwhile, Jack is going abroad for a show with the actress-singer(?) whose younger actress-sister has also been linked to him. Yes, the little sister is with the entourage. You have an idea what will happen out there. It’s cold "out there," very conducive to..."ripping?"

• It turned out that I caught only a portion (the one about Vina Morales) of Borgy Manotoc’s eye-popping interview on Forbidden Questions, the controversial Wednesday segment of Mo Twister’s Good Times with Mo program on Magic 89.9 (6 to 9 a.m., Monday through Thursday). There were equally juicy parts, according to Funfare friends, Borgy spat out quite a mouthful, to wit:

Mo: Who do you think is gay in showbiz?

Borgy: Sam Milby.

Mo: ...and the worst-dressed actress?

Borgy: Pops Fernandez.

Mo:...the worst billboard?

Borgy: (That of) Polo Ravales.

Mo:...worst singer?

Borgy: Christian Bautista.

Mo: When was the last time you (censored!... meaning, well, "self-help")?

Borgy: Yesterday morning.

Mo: When was the last time you had sex?

Borgy: When I did my last commercial – behind the curtain!

Meanwhile, a reader told Funfare that, when asked who was the least favorite among the fashion designers he had worked with, Borgy said, "The designer of Viktor Jeans." Said the reader, "My good friend, Ino Caluza, designer/owner of Viktor Jeans, was surprised. I want to remind Borgy that he ordered a pair of Viktor Jeans from Ino last year and he hasn’t paid for it up to now."

* * *

As I type this piece on my old, rickety typewriter, I’m playing Cliff Richard (and the Shadows’) 20 Original Greats and I’m blasted back to the past by such songs as The Young Ones, Summer Holiday, On The Beach, Lucky Lips, In The Country, Theme For a Dream, Dancing Shoes and When The Girl In Your Arms is The Girl in Your Heart (yes, that’s the complete title). Suddenly, I feel like a "young one" again, back in those carefree years when life was less complicated and your and my only concern was passing the mid-term exams a week later. But first, I had to watch a double feature of Summer Holiday and The Young Ones at the old Scala Theater (admission price was only P8, would you believe!), two of the movies Cliff starred in (others included Wonderful Life and Finders Keepers).

Well, I have good news for my fellow Baby Boomers (paging Vivian Sarabia!) and Jose Mari Chan (then dubbed as The Cliff Richard of the Philippines): Sir Cliff Richard (he was knighted in 1995, ahead of Sir Paul McCartney in 1997 and Sir Elton John in 1998) is coming for a Valentine concert on Feb. 13 in 2007 at the Araneta Coliseum.

Funfare got this "scoop" from a "Cliffian" (is that how you call a Cliff Richard diehard?) who is, this early saving up for the six patron tickets he intends to buy for him and his family.

Dubbed as the Here and Now Tour 2007, Sir Cliff’s one-night musical bash will be mounted by Solar Entertainment as the Manila leg of the famous British singer’s current world tour which kicked off early November in London.

That’s just a teaser. Cliffians are assured of a follow-up story on Sir Cliff.

Okay, Cliffians, be ready to put on your dancing shoes!

(Note: Ticket prices to the Here and Now Tour 2007 are P8,925, P7,875, P6,825, P4,200 and P2,100, available at Ticketnet outlets at SM stores and at the Araneta Coliseum box-office. For inquiries and reservations, call Ticketnet at 911-5555.)

What’s new about MiG Ayesa?

Twice here for a visit this year, MiG Ayesa will be back on Dec. 4 to 8 to promote his debut album (self-titled MiG which will be released by MCA Music. The same album will be released in the US in January 2007. Last night (Nov. 30), MiG did his first full-length concert in the US as a prelude to his album’s release. Here’s an exclusive report by Funfare’s New York correspondent Edmund Silvestre (news editor of The Filipino Reporter):

MiG Ayesa must now have a soft spot for undocumented aliens sneaking into the US border. The Fil-Aussie rock singer experienced first hand how to hide in fear while crossing the US-Canada border.

MiG, third placer in the first season of CBS’ Rockstar: INXS search, was touring the US East Coast for a series of shows when his manager booked him for a gig in Toronto.

The night before he was scheduled to leave for Canada, MiG realized his passport was in Los Angeles, where he and his wife are temporarily based.

"So the guys I was with said, ‘Don’t worry MiG, we’ll smuggle you in the car and drive you across the boarder," he told bullz-eye.com "They said, ‘You hide in the keyboard case, we’ll drive you across the border. Just get your wife to UPS (overnight shipping) your passport to Toronto, you’ll be fine on the way back.’ So that’s what I did. So for 45 minutes I actually hid in a keyboard case under all the luggage in the back of a van for 40 miles.

"I put a straw in my mouth, I closed my eyes and I dreamed of England. You know, I was thinking, ‘Just get through. Please don’t arrest me. I can’t afford to be arrested.’ And I didn’t know we had gone through the border or anything because I think they drove another 30 minutes just to piss me off. I was in the back, suffering, thinking, ‘Oh my God, are we there yet? Are we there yet?’ And we got out to the van and they were pretending they were customs security guards and they were saying, ‘Hey. What’s under here? What’s under here?’ And they actually had a video camera and filmed the whole thing. I almost killed them. I said, ‘You bastards, that’s not funny.’ I don’t know if I can get arrested for that now. I hope I don’t. But I had to do it, otherwise I‚d miss the gig. There’s no way I‚d miss a gig. The show must go on, mate!"

MiG is poised for the big time with the arrival of his major label debut under MCA Music, Inc. The self-titled CD, MiG, is set for release on Jan. 9, 2007, featuring his interpretations of 12 classic and contemporary rock favorites including The Police’s Wrapped Around Your Finger, The Rolling Stones’ Angie, Green Day’s Wake Me Up When September Ends, David Bowie’s Life On Mars and Baby I Love Your Way, a duet with its original singer Peter Frampton.

But prior to his CD launch, MiG will stage his very first full-length concert in the US on Nov. 30 (Thursday) at the Canal Room, 285 W. Broadway & Canal St. in Manhattan, where he will sing most of the cuts in the album.

MiG Ayesa Rocks New York is presented by Universal/Decca and Group Ole, in cooperation with La Cocina De Tita Moning (Philippines) and Carousel Pinoy Entertainment.

Edu is ACE of the Year awardee

Congratulations to Edu Manzano, Optical Media Board (OMB) chairman, for winning the inaugural Asia-Pacific Copyright Enforcer (ACE) of the Year award of the Motion Picture Association, to be given at the 2006 CineAsia convention in Beijing.

Funfare got this information from a letter of Neil Gane, MPA senior director of operations for Asia-Pacific, to President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, expressing appreciation and support for MPA and its member-companies for the ongoing enforcement efforts of the OMB.

"In particular," wrote Gane, "I would like to commend the hard work and dedication of (OMB) chairman Edu Manzano with whom we have worked very closely with over the past two years."

The ACE award serves to recognize the dedication and achievements of those tasked with fighting film piracy within the Asia-Pacific region. Celebrating its 14th years, CineAsia is the largest convention focusing on the Motion Picture Theater Industry in Asia. MPA has formally invited Edu to the event.

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