A purpose-driven life

All of us are faced with the important question: What is the most valuable possession a person could have in order for him to say that his life is complete? The answer is difficult. But thanks to the movie Driving Miss Daisy, I already have an idea what the answer is.

Released in 1989, the film is devoid of the usual showbiz stuff. It has no glamorous actor and actress in the title role. Instead, it features a cranky old woman in her seventies and a colored guy in his fifties. But the movie still managed to come out interesting, memorable and impressive (bagging the Oscar Best Picture award).

The film’s strength lies in its characters. Mrs. Daisy Werthan (Jessica Tandy, Oscar Best Actress Winner) is a rich, Jewish widow living in Atlanta. She doesn’t buy her son Boolie’s (Dan Aykroyd) opinion that she can no longer drive because of her age. Then one day, she crashes their car in the garage.

Boolie hires a colored guy named Hoke Colburn (Morgan Freeman) to be her chauffeur. Mrs. Werthan resents this. She is worried about what people might say, because racial discrimination against Afro-Americans was still rampant in the southern part of America in the ’50s.

But Hoke still accepts the job although Idella, the Werthans’ housekeeper, already forewarned him.

"I wouldn’t be in your shoes even if the sweet Lord asked me to!" Idella said.

Mrs. Werthan showed her resentment by being rude to Hoke and refusing to let him drive her anywhere. She showed her crankiness by asking him to have the car’s air-condition checked then never allowing him to turn it on.

One day, when Idella said goodbye to Mrs. Werthan at the end of a day’s work, the old woman said, "All right, see you tomorrow." But when it was Hoke’s turn, Mrs. Werthan screamed, "Good!"

Hoke took things graciously. He needed the job. He knew Boolie was the man who hired him so Mrs. Werthan couldn’t fire him. Instead, Hoke showed kindness and an amazing dedication to work, without any sign of hatred towards Mrs. Werthan.

When she refused to be driven to the supermarket and decided to walk instead, Hoke trailed her with the car. When she confronted him, Hoke replied, "I’m tryin’ to drive you to the store!"

Mrs. Werthan started to appreciate Hoke. Little by little, she started opening up to him, until a unique bond developed between them. Their friendship spanned for over 25 years. They had humorous, witty, touching conversations.

Hoke instantly became my perpetual role model. There’s something profound in him that moves me. He maintained his pride and dignity in an era when blacks were forbidden to use public comfort rooms for whites. Hoke is someone we could emulate. He could make life easy in this unkind, sometimes cruel world. He showed that the key to success in everything we do is the way we relate to others, that good deeds will be repaid with goodness.

As a physician, I have met a lot of Daisy Werthans. When I was in residency training, I encountered consultants who I thought were difficult to please. In the early stages of my training, I thought they were there to make life tougher for me. But as I showed them my intense desire to learn and I worked harder while giving them due respect, they took time to teach me what they know. In the end, life was easier the rest of my training days. I learned more and became a better doctor.

But beyond being successful in my profession, the movie has taught me what fulfillment means.

This, I learned towards the end of the film. Twenty five years later, Mrs. Werthan confined in a home for the aged, gets a visit from Hoke. The now weak and blind 90-year-old woman whispers to Hoke, "You’re my best friend."

Hoke, now 70, says, "No, go on Miss Daisy." Mrs. Werthan repeats, "No, really, you are…" Then she takes Hoke’s hands.

If someone would take my hands and say to me, "You’re my best friend," my life will be truly complete.