IC Mendoza: Happy and gay

IC Mendoza knew he was gay at 13. But he didn’t want to tell his mother, Dolly Anne Carvajal, fearing, like most gay sons do, that she won’t understand. But the day of discovery was inevitable. And when it came, it happened so quietly, so unexpectedly, mother and son can look back at it with a mere shrug of their shoulders.

It happened a year ago, at the birthday party of IC’s older sister, now a third year Nursing student. Drew Arellano was one of the guests and Dolly Anne, like most moms, was quietly observing her youngest son at the corner of her eye. People were telling her that IC is gay. But like many moms with an only son, she herself admits she was in denial.

"I thought I already had a boy and a girl, and everything was complete," she explains.

But when she saw IC behave like the infatuated teener that he is beside Drew, Dolly Anne decided to pop the question she had long been wanting to ask.

Yes, IC replied, he likes Drew, and how! Mother and son laughed and hugged. No histrionics, just a mother’s unconditional acceptance of who her son is and will always be.

"I know it’s inborn," Dolly Anne refers to IC’s gender preference. "And his exposure to showbiz (IC was a child actor, remember?) just enhanced it."

IC gives his opinion: "My dad (Ed Mendoza, a New York-based pastor who was once a PBA player) and mom separated when I was only one or two. I grew up in a house full of women."

Can you blame 17-year-old IC then, if he balks at his dad’s order for him to change his ways the next time they see each other in the US? Seeing his gay son on Pinoy TV is the irony of ironies for a man who would look down on homosexuals when he was still in school.

Dolly Anne, in contrast, has learned to live, and even make the most of the situation. She is behind IC all the way in his first foray in theater, ORO Entertainment’s Ilusyonada. Set at the Metro Concert Bar on Oct. 4 and 11, the sex comedy-musical play casts IC in the title role as a gay who wants to be a woman so badly he assumes several female characters, with matching hunks as leading men.

He impersonates Kris Aquino, Darna, Miriam Defensor and Annabelle Rama. Among his other multiple roles are that of a colegiala and a congressman’s wife.

It’s tough, he admits. Unlike TV, a medium he is comfortable in, the stage is a more demanding medium. IC knows he is only as good as his live audience judges him to be.And this, he will only know once the curtains rise.

His director, Soxie Topacio thus nudges IC: "Kapalan mo pa ang mukha mo!"

IC may be gay, but he is no cross-dresser. So when he dons several woman’s clothes for the play (there will be many costume changes), adjusting is an understatement for him.

"That’s one of my mom’s instructions: never cross dress. I agree. I must show everyone that gays can carry themselves with dignity and responsibility," IC muses.

Otherwise, how can he, for instance, hold his head high when he enrolls in an advertising course in college next school year?

"It’s my fallback position," IC declares.

No way therefore, will he act like one of those screaming faggots whose antics turn people off. It doesn’t become the grandson of a respected showbiz figure like the late Inday Badiday, in the first place.

This means that although IC dreams of marrying Dennis Trillo and even having a child (he avers that he has yet to fall seriously in love) , no way will he show up in mother’s or sister’s clothes to prove where his heart lies.

In the end, IC just wants to be himself. And he doesn’t have to dress and look like someone he was not born to become, to do this. It will not only displease Mom. It will also run counter to what he himself believes in, and what will make him happy.