Unlike Mother, Unlike Daughter

They are poles apart and not, unlike other mothers and daughters, two peas in a pod.

Unlike mother, unlike daughter.

Could it be because Zsa Zsa Padilla and daughter Karylle lived together for barely eight years, until Zsa Zsa separated from Karylle’s father, dentist Modesto Tatlonghari?

"She was too young then," recalled Zsa Zsa, "and we didn’t really have enough time to bond. But now, we’re making up for lost time. We’re catching up."

An invisible wall seems to have risen between them when Zsa Zsa started living with Dolphy whom she might soon wed after her marriage to Tatlonghari has been annulled. Karylle remained with her father who, Zsa Zsa conceded, "is a very good father, having brought up our daughter properly."

While Zsa Zsa is outgoing and apparently liberal, Karylle is shy and withdrawn and incurably conservative. That, among others, is the basic difference between them. There are more (as you will find out by and by).

"What did Karylle get from me aside from her singing talent?" Zsa Zsa thought for a while and smiled, "Yes, scoliosis!"

On Saturday night, May 7, starting at 9 o’clock at the Music Museum, mother and daughter are performing together for the first time (a "must-see") in a concert aptly entitled K 2 Z: Now & Then which should give us a chance to see once and for all who the better singer is. (Guest performers are Pilita Corrales and daughter Jackie Lou Banco, Ralion Alonso and Dingdong Dantes, Karylle’s boyfriend. Tickets priced at P1,500, P1,000 and P500 are available at the Ticketnet, National Bookstore outlets and at the Music Museum.)

Here’s Zsa Zsa speaking for herself and the daughter she’s only now starting to know really well.

It’s your first concert together. No, uh, scene-stealing from each other?

"None, of course! Anak ko ’yan, ‘no! I’d rather give her the limelight. You know what I mean. I’ve been around for 22 years! You know me naman, ’no. I’m not selfish."

What tips do you give Karylle?

" I give her tips only when she asks for them. Before, she was conservative and we have fixed that. Well, I was also conservative in the ’80s when I was starting. Alam mo naman ang fashion noon, di ba? I guess it depends on the fashion. You have to go with the flow. But if she dresses too sexy, I’d be the first to tell her, ‘My God, you’re too much!’ Sabi ko, ‘You have to conform. You’ve got a great figure; people will die to have that figure.’ She’s taking Pilates kasi, eh. Did you see her as Alena in Encantadia? exposed ang tummy niya, so I told her to work out; I encourage her to swim because, like me, she has scoliosis."

You also work out a lot, don’t you?

"I used to do Pilates. Now, I do a lot of abs works on my own which are difficult. I have a pool at home and I swim a lot."

What about tips on singing?

"In singing, she needs to be guided by a professional so we go to the same teacher, si Kitchie Molina. Remember when I had a throat problem (nodules)? Kitchie was recommended to me by other musicians, until I was cured. Most of the time when I have problems with my throat, it’s usually allergy."

Were your nodules operated on?

"No, they were not. Doctors don’t do that anymore. They wait for the nodules to subside and to heal. Yung sa akin have been cleared for more than a year now. My problem is that I’m allergic to so many things because I’m highly asthmatic (Like Dolphy. – RFL). When I inhale allergens, my voice is affected. That’s why I took voice lessons because when my asthma acts up, I have to attack the song in another way which is really very difficult."

How are you similar to Karylle?

"Aside from facial? I think we look more alike now. She’s really blooming now, di ba? I told her, ‘Don’t be afraid to bloom.’ I myself started blooming at 23. My babyfat started disappearing when I was 23, that’s why everybody thought I had a nose job. But, of course, I always say what people want to hear because people will believe what they want to believe. So I just play around with them; I just make fun of myself."

Who’s more conservative between you and Karylle?

"Actually, I’m conservative in the sense that I don’t dress the way I do when I’m doing a show. I don’t have to. Off camera, it’s everyday life already, it’s normal life na. So I wear jeans and T-shirt. The farthest that I would do is wear a micro-mini but that’s like wearing shorts nowadays, di ba?

What about outlook in life?

"I think she’s more religious than I am because maybe she studied in Ateneo. I studied at UE for less than a year then I moved to St. Paul’s. Before Ateneo, Karylle went to Poveda and then to Montessori. She’s innately good. She doesn’t like to step on other people’s toes. I told her it’s a good attitude especially in this business. But I remind her, ‘Sometimes you have to fight for your rights also, otherwise people will abuse you.’ But she cannot do it because innately kind nga siya, eh!"

Do you treat each other more like mother and daughter than like friends?

"Ay, we’re very close! We’re very open to each other. We talk about a lot of things. I’m very frank with her, and vice-versa. I’m very frank with her especially when it comes to sexual relationships and all that stuff. I can’t tell you what we usually talk about because they’re too personal."

Was your upbringing any different from or very similar to that of Karylle?

"My problem then was that my parents (Her father is actor-referee Carlos ‘Sonny’ Padilla, Jr. – RFL) were very strict, so nag-rebelde ako. I got pregnant (with Karylle) at the age of 16; I was a virgin at 16 and I was divirginized by Karylle’s father (Dr. Modesto Tatlonghari, Zsa Zsa’s ex-husband; their marriage was annulled just recently. –RFL). I could have had a choice but my mother never gave me any choices."

Oh, you were a rebel with a cause.

"Yes, in a sense. You know, when you’re not given options and, if you are, the options are not explained well to you, you become misguided. I think girls, starting at the age when they start to understand things, should be properly guided by their parents, especially by their mothers. Like virginity, for example. They should be reminded to treasure it until such time when they get married."

Karylle is luckier than you were because you are talking to her from experience and, as you want things to be, you explain the options very clearly to her.

"I also tell her how important it is to have a career of her own and to be ambitious enough to know what you want early on. Sabi ko sa kanya, ‘Kasi ako noon, wala akong direksyon, e!’ I remind her not to be like me – you know, maagang nabuntis at nag-asawa."

Was Karylle bitter when you and her father broke up?

"Not really bitter...She was very quiet about it. She kept things to herself. It took her awhile to heal and to be with her other sisters (Nicole and Zia, Zsa Zsa’s daughters by Dolphy. – RFL). But that’s all water under the bridge now. For two years now, Karylle and I have been bonding with her two other sisters. We travel together. We’ve gone to Amanpulo together; last Holy Week, we were in Hong Kong."

Did you have to sit down and sort things out?

"It was more on her own. With me, there was no probem. I have always been open. I have no rules. I don’t say, ‘You can’t go to my house.’ You know. Nothing of that sort. But up to now, Karylle hasn’t set foot in my house. She was brought up that way. Not that I want to say bad things about my ‘ex,’ you know. I just want to make it clear na, well, you know, a lot of people say na siya ang kumokontra doon sa annulment of our marriage. It’s not true."

Are Karylle and Dolphy okay?

"No. They don’t have a relationship, which is sad. It’s more, you know, politeness. She’s not allowed to be in our home."

By whom?

"Basta. She’s not allowed to be in our home. But I told her, ‘You’ve just turned 25 (last March 22). The moment a person turns 18, she should be responsible for her actions and decisions.’ But, of course, she has a certain loyalty and respect for her father’s wishes. But in fairness to her father, he brought her up very well. He is a father who raised her really, really well. Wala akong maire-reklamo. I was 23 years old when we broke up. Seven years lang kami nagsama. Kami ni Dolphy, longer. We’ve been together for more than 17 years now."

How much was your share in raising Karylle?

"I was busy. I started to be on my own; I started acting. The busier I became, the less painful were the effects of the break-up."

Were you, well, negligent in your duties and obligations as a mother?

"I tried not to be. My ‘ex’ would fight with me all the time because I was busy. Sabi niya, ‘You have to allot at least a day for your daughter.’ I told him, ‘You know naman how it is in showbiz. We have broken time. You have to give me more room, more leeway.’ There were accusations na, you know, dini-display ko lang daw ang anak ko and all that, so I had to see her in private, in her own room. So, I told him, ‘Okay, para walang questions... so that you’ll know that I’m sincere with my wishes, I will stay here.’ I don’t think naman there’s a court in any part of the world that won’t allow a mother to stay in her own daughter’s room, di ba?"

How involved are you in Karylle’s career? (Karylle’s father is her manager.)

"Not much. I really want her to get her own manager."

What (pieces of) advice – you know, do’s and don’t’s – do you give?

"I do give her some advice every now and then. Like the time na ayaw niyang mag-artista. I told her, ‘Karylle, look at it this way. So many people would like to be in your shoes. How many other singers are offered movies and soap operas? Not that many. You’re lucky. Showbiz is in your blood; there’s a Padilla in your genes. The moment mag-artista ka, you won’t stop; it’s so addicting. Mas maganda ’yung may options ka aside from singing.’ Pinagalitan ko nga siya because in her first soap (Love 2 Love), she requested her character to be killed, pagkatapos gusto niyang bumalik. I told her, ‘You see, you see!’ She should be realistic. Now, she’s telling me, ‘Mom, you’re right.’ See!"

Do you meddle with her lovelife?

"No, I don’t."

Is she really going steady with Dingdong Dantes?

"Well, that’s what they admitted on national TV."

What can you say about Dingdong?

"He’s very nice. I think he has good intentions with her."

What’s the best thing about Karylle?

"I think she has a pure heart. I never really had a problem with her. I’m glad that she didn’t have any bad habit – you know, she didn’t take drugs at ni hindi siya nag-barkada. I’m thankful that she didn’t rebel against me."

She has never gone through the things that you did.

"Never! Early on, I kept reminding her, ‘Don’t be like me. Huwag kang mag-aasawa ng bata ka pa, huwag kang mag-aasawa ng bata ka pa!’ Paulit-ulit ‘yan!"

Do you "baby" her?

"Oh, sometimes I do – with all my three daughters. Kasi if I buy something, it has to be for all three of them. I always buy in threes."

What do you think is the best lesson you have imparted to her?

"Professionalism. I told her, ‘You have to extend your being a good person to your work. Huwag na huwag ka mag-iinarte. If you hurt somebody even if you don’t intend to, learn how to apologize.’ Maingat ‘yan sa pera. Unlike me na medyo waldas. I keep reminding her to be generous not only with her time but also with her money. May foundations na ‘yan. Mapagkawanggawa ang batang ‘yan."

By the way, what will Karylle’s role be if and when you and Dolphy get married?

"I don’t know yet but she’ll definitely have a role."

When are you getting married?

"Supposed to be in December 2003. Di natuloy. A lot of people have been asking us that question. We don’t want to get married for the wrong reasons. Basta. A lot of things are still being fixed. I won’t mention na what those things are. Siguro alam na ng mga tao kung anu-ano ang mga ’yon."

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