In the Name of The Father & of The Sons

The family that plays together stays together.

That might as well be the caption for these pictures of Mark Gil and sons Gabby Eigenmann and Sid Lucero (whose real name is Timothy John "Timmy" Eigenmann; his screen name is actually the name of the character his dad played in Mike de Leon’s 1981 movie Batch ’81) engaged in a game of bunong-braso at Little Asia (on Tomas Morato Avenue, Quezon City, with owner-manager Charlemagne Lim gamely hosting the luncheon pictorial).

Actually, Mark has six children, namely Gabby, 26, and Ira, 25, with Irene Celebre with whom Mark had a five-year relationship; Timmy, 21, and Maxine, 16, with former model Bing Pimentel, the first woman Mark married, with the union lasting only more than five years; Andrea, 13, with Jaclyn Jose (Jane Guck in real life) with whom Mark lived in for more than five years; and Stephanie, 9, with Maricar Jacinto, the second woman Mark married.

Of the six children, only Gabby and Sid have followed in Mark’s footsteps.

Gabby started as a child actor (in Palaban, Pakawalan Mo Ako and Problem Child which topbilled Mark’s sister Cherie Gil), quit to resume his studies at O.B. Montessori (high school and first year in a Hotel & Restaurant Management course) and came back as a grown-up actor. Gabby has done two movies (Kabilugan ng Buwan and Gangland), an album and several TV shows (currently GMA’s S.O.P. and Forever in My Heart).

Sid started as a commercial model (for, among others, Chippy and VIP Express Card), was introduced in the GMA soap Hanggang Kailan and is cast in the new ABS-CBN fantaserye, Krystala, with Judy Ann Santos in the title role.

As you can see, showbiz is in the genes of Gabby and Sid (their grandparents, in case you’ve forgotten, are Eddie Mesa, an Eigenmann in real life, and Rosemarie Gil).

Asked if he’s okay with, well, "all the women he has loved before," Mark said, "Yes, of course! I’m okay with Irene, I’m okay with Bing, I’m okay even with Jane."

And, yes, he’s okay with all his six children who don’t look at each other as half-siblings but, as Sid puts it, "full brothers and sisters."

Conversations deliberately talked to Mark, Gabby and Sid separately and individually. They’ll know each other’s answers only now. Here we go...

Mark on Gabby and Sid:

What’s your style of fathering?

"Christmas is coming soon, ‘no? Before, every Christmas was always a dilemma with me because everybody stayed with their (respective) families. Tradition, you know. So I’d find myself forever on the go, shuttling from one family to another. I’d go first to Gabby and Ira’s family, then to Timmy’s family, and then to Jane and Andrea. That’s why I was always late for the noche buena in my family. Until I thought, ‘Wait a minute, it’s about time I reversed the trend.’ So now, it’s the children who all come to my house during Christmas."

You’re okay with the children’s moms, I suppose (each of whom has found her own, new happiness).

"Live and let live. Our only concern is team work for the kids. Irene and I don’t have that much problem because our kids are grown-up; they have their own lives already. But they do call when they need something – you know, a little help here and a little help there. Bing and I hardly talk. She lives in Laguna (Calamba) with her sister and the kids. For a while, Gabby stayed with me for six years; and Timmy, too, for a while...until I told him to get up on his feet and work because he couldn’t be pabandying-bandying all the time."

What about Andrea?

"We keep in touch. If I have a gimik, like when it’s vacation and semestral break, I bring her along to the beach or to Baguio. Of course, with Jane’s permission. One time when I was managing my own restaurant in Dumaguete, I asked Jane if I could bring Andrea along. She said no, too far daw. She wanted to follow to Cebu and I’d bring Andrea there na lang. I told her, never mind."

Besides the Christmas reunion, how often do you get together with all the children?

"On other occasions. Gabby’s birthday, Timmy’s birthday, any of the other kids’ birthday, my mom’s birthday or my birthday. All occasions."

Oh, yes, your style of fathering.

"Lenient but firm. I tell them what I believe; I tell them to learn from what they have seen of me while they were growing up – you know, their father’s way of life."

Did you ever spank any of them?

"No, never! You see, Michael, Cherie and I were laking-sinturon; konting mali, sinturon kaagad."

I guess it worked beautifully well because Michael, Cherie and you are well-behaved, respectful of others...well brought up.

"Yes, we were brought up quite well but the sinturon syndrome was a bit traumatic for us, so we avoid doing the same to our children."

So you’re not bringing up your children the way your parents brought you up.

"Not at all. Because I believe that you don’t own your children. Maybe when they’re small, yes. But when they grow up, it’s better that you treat them on the level because you can also learn from them. Give them your values and let them live their own lives."

Isn’t there any sibling rivalry among your children?

"None at all. They’re all very close."

You don’t practise favoritism?

"No, I don’t."

How did you condition your children to the kind of situation/set-up you’re in?

"I tell them the truth, the facts of life. I never hide anything from them. One time, my daughter Stephanie, when she was five years old, asked me, ‘How come I have so many brothers and sisters?’ I told her, ‘Well, that’s how Daddy’s life is. Daddy fell in love many times and so...’ Then, she said, ‘You kasi Daddy, e, you have so many women.’ I don’t believe that there’s such a person as anak sa labas. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have any anak sa labas; they are all my children, fruits of love. The only problem is that my relationship with their mothers didn’t work."

Do you treat especially the grown-ups (Gabby and Sid, etc.) more like friends than children?

"Yes, I do. I encourage them to open up. Timmy talks to me about everything. But I never give them unsolicited advice. I wait for them to ask for it. When we see each other, we act like long-lost high-school classmates."

What (pieces of) advice and tips/pointers do you give them, where their love life is concerned?

"They are very open about their love life, especially Timmy. He’s very cariñoso; they all are. But Timmy is a bit torpe (shy) with the girls. That’s as far as I go – give them pieces of advice. I never meddle in their personal affairs. I mean, I don’t approve; neither do I disapprove. With Gabby and Timmy, since they are now in the (show) business, I always remind them to respect everybody. Their generation is different from mine and so is the system. The star system is gone. I tell them to be always professional and take their work seriously. Enjoy the money but spend it wisely. In short, don’t be like me."

Oh, why?

"Kasi, let’s face it, I’ve had my time. I’ve had my ups and downs. I always remind them: If you can stay up, maintain being up because the moment you go down, it’s hard to go up again."

And where the girls are concerned?

"Don’t be pabling (a playboy). Life is like a domino. Any wrong move from you will affect all the Eigenmanns. That’s also what our parents instilled in us – respect for other people."

How would you rate yourself as a father?

"Fair. I know deep in my heart that I deserve a 10."

And as a husband?

"Of Maricar? Ahhh, 10. I’ve been with Maricar for 11 years."

Gabby and Sid on Mark:

How old were you when your mom and dad separated?

Sid: I think I was five years old. I knew they were fighting but I didn’t realize how bad it was until I grew up. It was when my mom brought us kids to Cebu did I start to realize that she was separating from my dad. He wasn’t allowed to visit us, so I started wondering, "Hey, what’s going on?"

Gabby: I was about four or five years old. Walang masyadong impact. I was small but I think I knew. But of course, as I grew older I was looking for a father image. There was a time when my mom and dad were, you know, naghihiraman. I would stay one week with my mom and then one week with my dad. Same, too, with Ira.

How did you learn to accept the situation?

Sid: I followed my mom. Kung bawal, e, di bawal. If she allowed me to see my dad, e, di great! But it was easier for me to connect to my dad as I grew older.

Gabby: Gradually, I learned to live with it. But I’ve promised myself that if I ever have my own family, I’d like it to be intact. That’s why in school, I studied very hard; I was never the rebellious type. I never had any failing grades in school. I wanted my parents to be proud of me, so I strived hard to be an ideal son.

How long after the separation did you see your dad again?

Sid: I guess a year or two later. My dad did the TV series Cebu (with Cherie and his other siblings) and I would see him there during the shooting. Then, he would visit us, first in the church and then at home where he would spend the whole day.

Are you close to your other siblings?

Sid: Yeah, I am. We’re like full brothers and sisters, not just half-brothers and half-sisters.

Gabby: Oh, yes, I am. Very close. I’m the eldest among the six of us, so I play my role as a kuya to the hilt. When they were small, I would wipe their behind after they made pooh-pooh. I even helped change their Pampers.

Are you close to your siblings’ mothers?

Sid: Tita Irene? Tita Jane? Tita Maricar? Oh, yes, I am. I treat them like my own mom, not like my stepmothers. We treat each other as family.

Gabby: Yeah. I call them all Tita, but not Maricar because it’s awkward because we’re almost the same age.

You never developed any bitterness toward your dad, did you?

Sid: No.

Gabby: None at all, although I wished that sila na lang ng Mommy ko. But then... it’s a dream that would never happen.

How much of you is your mom and how much is your dad?

Sid: Fifty-fifty. I think I got my ugali from both my mom and my dad. My mom taught me where to place myself in society. No matter what you are, no matter what you’re into, there’s a proper time and place for everything. My dad taught me how to prioritize things, especially now that I’m also in showbiz. The looks? Very Eigenmann, I think. They tell me I look very much like my dad.

Gabby: Fifty-fifty. My dad is galante and I got that trait from him, waldas sa pera. Sometimes, I become kuripot, like my mom who’s Ilocana."

The temper?

Sid: Before, I used to have temper. Now, medyo wala na.

Gabby: Nasa loob ang kulo. I can be your best friend, all right, but I can also be your worst enemy.

What were the values instilled in you by your dad?

Gabby: Well, my mom and my dad went into drugs, so they advised me never to do the same. They told me never to take drugs because it would ruin my life. In this business, there are so many temptations so I try hard to resist them.

So you never tried drugs.

Gabby: I’d be a hypocrite and a liar if I said I did not. I did try, a little, but that’s the farthest I went – try a little. Out of curiosity, you know, peer pressure. I never got hooked.

What happened when you had a "temper"? Did you break things?

Sid: Dati, I would break things. But now, I just keep quiet and cool off somewhere else for a while and talk things out with people outside of the situation. I’ve learned how to control myself.

You’re not violent, are you?

Gabby: No, I’m not. Mabait ako. I can be verbally violent but only when inaabuso na ang kabaitan ko, but I’m never physically violent. I would rather hurt myself than hurt anyone – you know, hit the wall and break my wrist but I never hit anyone.

At 21, how many hearts have you broken?

Sid: I guess just one. My first girlfriend.

How do you bond with your dad?

Sid: Like how friends bond with each other. We exchange stories. He’s more like a friend than a father. He becomes a dad when he needs to be.

Gabby: I play basketball with him. I hang around his house. We bond together because of food. He cooks well and I eat a lot. We’re vibes when it comes to food. He’s like a barkada to me. I confide in him.

Do you tell him everything?

Sid: Well, not everything. I have secrets, too.

Gabby: I try to solve my problems as hard as I could. But when I couldn’t, I run to him. When I feel that people are under-estimating my talent, I talk to my dad. He’s in the same industry so he understands.

What about affairs of the heart?

Gabby: I do. Like my current girlfriend. I’ve been with her for years now. But in the beginning, we went through rough sailing because she has two kids (from a previous relationship). My dad helped me sort out the situation.

What’s your most memorable moment with your dad?

Sid: The first time we saw each other in Cebu after a long separation. I remember when we met in the church. I saw Dad sitting there, alone, at nagwala talaga ako. I ran to him, shouting his name. I also won’t forget the time I stayed in my dad’s house.

How similar are you to Gabby?

Sid: Gabby is very witty. I’m not. I don’t know how he got it. Mas magaling siya sa girls! I’m not. I’m torpe according to my dad, di ba?

Being older, what advice do you give Timmy?

Gabby: I tell him that it’s nice to have fun. But once you settle down with anybody, and that’s long from now, you should be serious. It’s better if you don’t hurt anybody.

Do you prefer the same type of girls?

Gabby: No. I go for mestizas; Timmy goes for the morena type. But we have the same fetish – a woman’s feet. I guess all Eigenmanns have the same fetish.

What are the tips/pointers that you get from your dad where girls are concerned?

Sid: Chivalry! Be a gentleman! Respect the girls.

Gabby: Careerwise, he always reminds me to look good on TV – and to lose weight, which is what I’m doing now. He tells me to take singing seriously because in our generation I’m the only Eigenmann who sings (The oldest Eigenmann – Eddie Mesa, that is – is looked up to until now as the Elvis Presley of the Philippines. – RFL). As far as girls are concerned, he always reminds me to treasure a woman, make her feel like a princess or a queen, make her feel important, and always be a gentleman. Especially the last – be a gentleman. Kasi if you’re a gentleman, everything else follows, di ba?

Who are your role models (aside from your dad)?

Sid: Pagdating sa acting, I really admire Ronnie Lazaro and Pen Medina. They are so damn good.

Gabby: Let me think...None. Just my dad. I admire both his good side and his bad side.

Are you a womanizer like your dad?

Gabby: No. But my dad has never been a womanizer. He just loved one woman at a time. It just so happened that he loved many of them – one at a time.

How would you rate your dad as a father?

Sid: As a father, 8 to 9. But altogether, as a father and as a friend, I give him a Perfect 10.

Gabby: From one to 10? He’s 11!

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