Penises talk: What makes a man a man?

My good friend Manny Valera invited me to watch the first weekend run of Penis Talks at the Music Museum last Oct. 1 and 2, except that I missed it due to other commitments.

But I heard very positive comments from those who saw this stage presentation that featured comedy, drama and even musical numbers.

I know I’m not supposed to judge a book by its cover, a film by its trailer and a theatrical feature based on hearsay. But then, Penis Talks is directed by Joel Lamangan from a script by Ricky Lee, so how can this show not be good? To borrow a phrase inspired by Anna Dizon, Joel Lamangan is Joel Lamangan and Ricky Lee is Ricky Lee.

But then again, I guess I still have to see the show to be able to pass judgment on it. It’s a good thing there is a repeat of Penis Talks this weekend – on Oct. 15 (Friday) and Oct. 16 (Saturday) also at the Music Museum.

Produced by Manny Valera’s DMV Entertainment Inc. and Arnold Vegafria’s Events International, Penis Talks stars Angelu de Leon, Jenine Desiderio, Christian Vasquez, Luis Alandy, Carlo Maceda, Paolo Paraiso, Jeffrey Hidalgo, Douglas Robinson, William Thio and Russel Simon.

Below, I fielded some questions about manhood (since the show is about being male) to the eight male cast members of Penis Talks. Here are the questions and their answers:

What to you is the most difficult aspect of being male?

Douglas Robinson: Being the head of the family, there is much responsibility such as being the provider and protector of your loved ones. I am ready to assume that role when the right time comes. In the meantime, I will just enjoy my being male.

What makes you say that you are really a man?

Paolo Paraiso: I am a man because I am firm with my decisions. My word is my bond. I am respected because I give respect.

In your observation, is it more difficult to be male or female in our society today?

William Thio: It is harder to be male. A guy holds more responsibilities, especially when he already has a family. He has to make sure that his family is well provided for at all times.

Aside from hanging out in a girls’ locker room to ogle at naked female bodies, what would you do if you were turned into a woman for one day?

Luis Alandy: If for one day, I’ll be a woman I would probably find a way to date Brad Pitt. Ha! Ha! I’ll be friends with Amanda Griffin and make her close even for just a day! It would be a dream come true!

What is your stand on male beauty pageants? Aren’t there too many? Would you join one or have you joined one?

Carlo Maceda: Yes, I have joined one. Actually, the experience was really memorable. I discovered a lot of things about myself when I participated last 2002 in the Mossimo Bikini Summit. There’s nothing wrong with pageants, I believe people are only indifferent because of some pageants that were rumored to have hanky panky.

If you were a woman and you were not blessed with ample enough breasts, would you consider going to Dr. Vicki Belo for surgery?

Jeffrey Hidalgo: Sure. If it would make me feel more confident about myself, why not? I think everyone has the right to enhance their physical appearance and increase their market values. He! He!

What is your stand on male vanity? How much time should a man stand before a mirror and would you also consider having a botox?

Christian Vasquez: There is nothing wrong with being vain specially with our line of work. We have to be presentable. Every person is vain but in different ways. I am vain when it comes to my body and health. I don’t know how much time. I haven’t thought about it. Let’s see in the next 10 years.

How would you want to be remembered as a man?

Russel Simon: I want to be remembered as a man who values God and his family more than anything else, a simple man who wants to love and serve his family.

(Penis Talks is sponsored by Bench Body, Rita Malumay, Larry Faustino and Lourdes Francisco of Propaganda, Crystal Clear Purified Drinking Water, NU 107, Ping-Ping Lechon, Colasa’s Restaurant and People’s Journal.

For ticket inquiries, call Music Museum at 721-0635/721-6726, DMV Entertainment at 374-1361/415-0373 and Ticketworld at 891-5610.)