Sharmaine mourns loss of her dad

Sharmaine Arnaiz is in a bittersweet phase of her life. While joyous over the fact that she is five months on the way with her first baby, she is at the same time grieving the death of her father, who passed away last week due to complications from various illnesses, among which were diabetes. He was 65.

Showbiz watchers should be familiar with Sharmaine’s father, Jetho Pribhdas, a tall and handsome Indian who was the actress’ constant date in most awards ceremonies. (He even proved to be Sharmaine’s lucky charm when he escorted her to the 1993 Gawad Urian where she won Best Supporting Actress for the film Saan Ka Man Naroroon).

Last year, Mr. Pribhdas already gave his blessings to Sharmaine to marry fiancé Ernesto "Che" Ochoa, a relative of actor Dominic Ochoa. However, one of the Ochoa girls also decided to get married and because of the superstitious belief that we call in the vernacular as sukob (siblings who get married in the same year are supposed to edge out each other in matters of finances), Che and Sharmaine decided to postpone their own wedding.

But when Sharmaine discovered early this year that she was on the way, Che and she decided to get married at least in civil rites first – until they find the time to prepare for a church wedding.

Jetho Pribhdas, in fact, even offered his services to work on their licenses and other required papers so that the young couple could marry civilly.

Unfortunately, in mid-April, tragedy struck. Sharmaine was in the middle of taping a drama anthology when neighbors frantically sent her a text message telling her that they had to rush her father to the hospital. Immediately, she left the taping (and for that she is very apologetic to the program staff) and rushed to her father’s side.

Prior to that, she had enrolled herself for summer classes at the Araneta University where she only has three semesters to go in order to finish her veterinary medicine course. But with her father in the hospital, she was unable to attend summer school because she had to stay by his side all the time. Sister Bunny Paras, as most showbiz observers know, is in the US and so is their Mom. The responsibility for looking after their ailing father had to be shouldered by Sharmaine — all by herself. (To her relief some relatives also came to her rescue when she needed them and for that, she will always be grateful to them.)

In the beginning, Sharmaine thought that her father was staying in the hospital only for a few days — a few weeks at the most. But the weeks turned into a month and Mr. Pribhdas wasn’t getting any better. Meanwhile, expenses were also beginning to pile up because as everyone knows it’s no joke to be spending time in the hospital in these very difficult times. Bunny — from her end — was also worried sick over the worsening condition of their father. But there was nothing much she could do because flying back to Manila could complicate her immigration status there. But every so often, she would call the hospital and Sharmaine would put the phone on their father’s ear. But he was no longer responding to anyone or to anything at that point.

Finally, after six weeks in the hospital, Jetho Pribhdas moved on to the next life with a crushed Sharmaine by his side. Bunny desperately wanted to come home and was already rushing her papers until they realized that it would be more practical if she just paid part of the hospital expenses instead of paying for a plane ticket back home and later back to the US. You can just imagine how much the medical expenses had ballooned by then.

With no immediate member of her family by her side, Sharmaine held a wake for her father at the Claret Church a few blocks away from her townhouse in Teacher’s Village.

A few days later, Sharmaine had her father’s remains cremated. His ashes are in a gold-plated urn that is now installed in a corner table of her living room.

The afternoon we visited Sharmaine, she shared with me memories of her father – both the good and the bad. Bad because there were instances when they would quarrel over her father’s careless attitude toward his health. "He would still drink beer even if he knew it was bad for him," laments Sharmaine.

But she feels good about the fact that before her father was brought to the hospital, they still shared one more happy moment together. This was the time Sharmaine had her father’s favorite seafood cooked for him one evening–with her even shelling the shrimps for him at the dinner table.

And now, he is gone and she feels sad that he’ll never get to see his grandchild by her. But when her child grows up, Sharmaine plans to tell her firstborn about how her father was so giving, so kind and compassionate. And how he had been such a loving father to her and Bunny.

As we said our good-byes to Sharmaine that afternoon, she was preparing to get ready for the 6 p.m. Mass at Claret, which is walking distance.

The scenario would have been cinematic. A beautiful woman in black walking to church alone. But this is not the movies. This is for real. Deep inside, she must be feeling devastated walking to Mass in memory of her recently-departed father. The father who loved her dearly. The father who couldn’t love her too much.

(In my Thursday column, Sharmaine talks about how she happily awaits the birth of her baby).