Kids & TV: A balancing act

(First of two parts)

It is rather sad that not too many showbiz marriages survive the intrigues, pressure and odd culture of the entertainment profession. I therefore salute showbiz couples that really work hard to make their marriage work. One showbiz union that should be emulated is that of Anthony Pangilinan and Maricel Laxa who have been married for 10 years.

Blessed with four kids, they also have enviable parenting skills – the secret of which they are sharing in the Second Philippine Parenting Convention that they are organizing at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel from March 13 to 14 at 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. (For more information, please call the Parenting Company at tel. nos. 920-0537/434-0139/435-4301.)

For this two-day event, Anthony and Maricel have invited several speakers to talk about topics related to raising a family in a more effective manner.

Two weeks ago, I already had the privilege of having a one-on-one session with Maricel and the topic we chose between us was the effect of media on today’s children – particularly television.

Without necessarily biting the hand that feeds us (Maricel and I are both on TV), we noted some ill effects brought about by television on the children of today.

Maricel pointed out during our conversation that the modern technology offered by television has taken out the simple joys in life among kids of this generation. "For them, it’s like, ‘Okay, entertain us,’" she says. "And with the remote control, they can zap you away. There is a certain standard that TV keeps raising." She continues: "This is evident even in children’s parties today. Children’s parties are different nowadays. They have to be bigger and bigger each time and you have to think of different ways to entertain the kids or else they’ll get bored."

Maricel is also worried about the fact that television doesn’t allow children to think anymore. "It’s from ages zero to seven when kids’ minds are developed," she claims. "Your brain is supposed to be functioning at this stage in your life and TV in a way doesn’t allow that."

Television, Maricel insists, also becomes quite dangerous when it becomes the source of education for any child and this usually happens when parents, who have other things to do, delegate television as the kid’s babysitter. "To make matters worse, nababawasan pa ang connection between the parent and the child if we make the TV set the yaya of our kids," she explains. She cites as an example the relationship of OFW parents to their kids. "If the OFW parents leave home when the kids are between ages zero to seven, they will have difficulty connecting. Nawawala na ang bonding. Unfortunately, that is a fact of life in this country and because of our poor economy, most people are left with no other choice but to go abroad in order to give their family a better life."

Of course, Maricel also agrees with me that TV isn’t all that bad. We are one, for instance, in saying that television could be a very good source of information – when used properly, of course.

There should be guidelines therefore when it comes to TV viewing for kids. "Parents should know the kind of programs their children are watching– hindi ‘yung pinapabayaan lang. They should monitor. Pero siempre, they cannot be there all the time. If that’s the case, they should ask the kids about the shows they are watching and parents should check it from time to time.

And then, you have to explain why they can’t watch a particular program. Tell them the reasons why – hindi lang ‘yung basta bawal ‘yan," offers Maricel.

But how many hours should children be allowed to watch TV? Maricel remembers a phase in her life – when she was in grade school – when she used to watched 18 hours of TV every day. Oh, she watched everything – from old Tagalog movies to John en Marsha to William Katt’s The Greatest American Hero. But then she began having dizzy spells and her Mom Imelda Ilanan, decided to step in and encouraged the young Maricel to shift her attention to books. She could only laugh now at that stage in her life.

Ideally, she believes that TV viewing for kids should not be more than two hours a day. "You have to understand that they have to go to school and they do assignments. And they have to do socializing with other kids and watching TV is an activity that is so anti-social."

According to Maricel, the location of the TV set(s) is also important. "A TV set shouldn’t just be for one person. It should be for everyone para may interaction."

The best place to put the TV set, says Maricel, is the living room – and never the dining room so that the family can interact during meals.

The bedroom? "I know of couples who’d rather not have the TV set in the bedroom kasi while the couple is talking, the husband is usually watching TV at hindi nare-resolve ‘yung conflict," explains Maricel.

One time there was also a TV set in her kitchen, but the problem was "the househelp couldn’t concentrate sa pagluluto. Minsan, mahihiya ka pang mag-utos kasi baka nasa cliffhanger ‘yung soap opera that they are watching," she laughs.

At a certain point in our conversation, we also tried to point out some of the good shows we see on TV today. One of the programs she encourages kids to watch is The National Geographic. Then, there are the quick shows because these programs encourage the young people to think. Even lifestyle shows she likes because these broaden one’s horizons.

Talk shows in her opinion are also good viewing fare even if these touch on taboo subjects – "for as long as these are discussed among family members at home."

(To be concluded)