What Miko’s death taught me

(First of two parts)

Yesterday, we marked the 40th day of Miko Sotto’s death. Although he was no blood relation, he was like a nephew to me, even like a son, because his mother, Ali Sotto, is one of my most beloved friends of many years and those 40 days after his death had deeply affected my life in many ways.

My life is basically serene (Ali likes to call it lethargic) and everything is run on schedule. I am annoyed if plans are not strictly followed. But Miko’s death has taught me to be more flexible, to be more giving (especially of my time), to become more understanding and considerate and basically to become a better and more selfless person.

Forty days after his death, I know we all have to move on. But before we thrust forward, allow me to look back and trace once more how Miko Sotto’s death has changed so many lives – his parents, siblings, friends, fans and even two complete strangers who benefited from the actor’s corneal donations.

Dec. 29 – I arrived in my Baguio home just a few hours before to finally enjoy the holiday break when I received this text message from my Startalk executive producer, Reylie Manalo: "Do you already know what happened to Miko Sotto?" I tried to reach Reylie, but her phone just kept ringing. I called up a friend who had tuned in to Unang Hirit and he told me the bad news. For a while, I was in denial – until I called up Ali, who began sobbing when she heard my voice on the other line. I asked her to pass on the phone to her husband, Omar Bsaies, and I promised him I was going down to Manila to be with them as soon as possible.

My phone began to ring. Friends from media were asking me for details regarding Miko’s death. I politely told them I was away in Baguio and was not in the position to say anything in the first place.

Late in the afternoon, Rosanna Roces called me up to check how I was doing. She knew I was going to be badly affected by Miko’s death because she was aware of my deep friendship with Ali. Just two weeks before that, we – Osang, Ali, Omar and the staff of Startalk – were gathered at my home for my birthday celebration and had a grand time eating and just chatting the night away.

Dec. 30–I had decided to return to Manila. I knew I had to be with Ali. But it was a long trip because everyone was going down to Manila for New Year’s Eve. Along the way, friends from media were again calling me up and asking me to arrange for an interview with Ali. That was difficult to do because I was still up north and was, in fact, negotiating the sharp turns of Marcos Highway.

After more than eight hours of non-stop driving (the traffic was that bad), I reached Manila at way past 2 in the morning. I went straight to Santuario de San Antonio in the hope of still catching Ali there. I missed her by a few minutes. (She had to leave early because older son Chino was arriving in the morning.) But Miko’s father, Maru Sotto, was still there – and so were Vic Sotto, Dolphy and Willie Revillame (he had just been taken out of MTB that time). Some of us stayed until past 6 in the morning.

Dec. 31–I returned late in the afternoon to Santuario. I saw fans milling outside. Inside the chapel, I spotted Ara Mina and even Kris Aquino. I didn’t have time to say hello to them because I was still looking for Ali. She was in the service room and I just bussed her on the cheek like nothing happened. But during the Mass, she made me sit beside her. She clung on to Omar to her left and to me to her right. She broke down in the middle of the Mass and I couldn’t bear to see her like that. The next time around, I stayed away from her during the Mass or skipped the Mass altogether.

At close to midnight, I left the chapel to return home for New Year’s Eve. I went back to Santuario before 2 a.m. to join Ali and family again for the vigil. They too had fireworks on the chapel’s patio and had a great media noche feast complete with roast turkey prepared by Helen Gamboa.

Jan. 1 – The last day of the wake. I had pledged to bring food because even if so many people were sending dishes (and especially pastries), there were a lot to be fed – especially the fans who came in droves. (Fortunately, Eat Bulaga top executive Malou Choa-Fagar was there to act as marshal.) My problem was how to get a caterer willing to accept the job on New Year’s Day. Lucy Arenas came to my rescue and prepared the food, some of which we were able to cajole Ali to eat. (She had not been eating well during those days – as to be expected.)

Everyone in show business must have been there during the last day. Ali’s close friends were also there to comfort her: Tirso Cruz III and wife Lyn, Pinky de Leon, Amy Austria and husband Duke, Christopher de Leon, Sandy Andolong, Melissa de Leon and husband Ronnie and Tina Pecson.

During those days Miko’s body was lying in state, we saw different kinds of characters – including this woman who was there almost every day and asking Ali to open the casket so she may bring the actor back to life again.

Jan. 2–Miko was going to be laid to rest and everyone had gathered early at Santuario. The chapel was brimming with people – from showbiz, politics and the US Embassy. On the way to Loyola Memorial Park in Parañaque, we saw at the South Superhighway people bearing placards bidding Miko goodbye. Ali must have been proud to see all those people who loved her son to the very end.

At the memorial park, Miko was finally laid to rest at the Sotto plot. A huge crowd had gathered ahead of the cortege. But even if fans were shrieking at the sight of movie stars from time to time, the final blessings officiated by Fr. Sonny Ramirez was most solemn. To Miko, we finally said goodbye.

In the evening, Ali called me up to tell me about the yellow and blue butterfly – the sign she asked from God as an assurance that Miko was in His hands.

Jan. 3 – On the set of Startalk, Lolit Solis and I interviewed Ali from her home in Magallanes. For the first time, I became emotional. Now I realize that prior to the interview, Ali and I never had the time to grieve – just the two of us. When the time came – and it had to be on TV – I finally broke down.

(To be concluded)