Scary Movie 3: Not scary but never-ending fun

When I went to see Scary Movie 3 recently, I had the misfortune of sitting right in front of two women who did nothing but complain loudly that Scary Movie wasn’t at all scary.

From their seats, they kept muttering aloud: "Ano bang klaseng horror movie ito? Hindi naman nakakatakot!" ("What kind of a horror movie is this? It‘s not even scary!")

Since it was never my habit to mind other people‘s business, I didn’t get the chance to tell them Scary Movie is actually a comedy and not a horror picture. In fact, this is already the third installment – which is why it has a 3 at the end of the title.

The first Scary Movie was actually such a big success that it spawned a sequel, which sadly turned out to be a dud. Version 3, however, is a winner in the box office (I understand it remained No. 1 for two weeks in the US) – and for obvious reasons.

Scary Movie 3 is delightfully funny. In the opening sequence alone (which always features blondes; this time with Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy), the viewer will already laugh his head off. The film then goes to the story proper – scenes of which, of course, were culled from horror flicks and presented in spoofs here in Scary Movie.

In the early part, we see Charlie Sheen and his brother Simon Rex waking up with the animals acting funny (a dog was casually driving the tractor) and later finding alien crop circles in their field. Of course, this is a take-off from Signs, a really scary film about alien invasion.

Then there’s the story of broadcaster Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) and this mysterious video, followed by a phone call saying anyone who watches that clip will die in a week’s time – that stuff we all saw in The Ring, except that this time, we don’t get frightened. We laugh instead and laugh hysterically at this really funny spoof of The Ring.

There are other horror movies that are spoofed here, but the one I like best is from one of my favorite horror films, The Others. I’m not telling you which part of The Others was spoofed in Scary Movie, so I don’t spoil your viewing pleasure. But allow me to tell you that this famous scene from The Others spawned a Michael Jackson lampoon here in Scary Movie. Of course, this is so timely because the superstar is in the news these days and the way he is spoofed here, I bet even Liz Taylor, a staunch Michael Jackson defender, would burst out laughing over this one.

Unfortunately, there are also other scenes in this film that are quite sacrilegious and may not sit well with the Catolico cerrado among us Pinoys (there’s one desecrating a bust image of the beloved Mother Teresa). But there is one scene involving a corpse that though distasteful will still send the viewer rolling down the aisle and back.

Aside from the panoply of horror movies you will see on the screen, there is also a parade of popular Hollywood stars doing cameo roles in Scary Movie 3: Queen Latifah, Leslie Nielsen, William Forsythe, George Carlin, Eddie Griffin, etc.

Scary Movie 3 is really never-ending fun, except for the two women behind me who were annoyed with everything they saw on screen – and said so ever so loudly. (Why did everyone around them have to be so polite? No one bothered to hush them!)

Their ignorant remarks that kept coming at every scene could actually have been tolerable were it not for the fact that they were talking so loudly inside that theater in Megamall and behaving like they were the heiresses of mogul Henry Sy.

Scary Movie 3 must really be an enjoyable comedy because in spite of those unwelcome running commentaries behind me, I still had a ball over this one. In fact, I can hardly wait for Scary Movie 4 – if there’s going to be another sequel to this third installment (I hope so! I hope so!).

And when the next one comes around, it is my fervent wish not to be seated anywhere near those two women. Just the thought of it is Scary!