Round 2: The two ‘Mrs. Yilmaz Bektas’ clash anew

I wish she would stop trying to destroy my relationship with my husband and realize that it’s time to move on... In life, some relationships prosper but some don’t work out. I feel sorry that my husband’s relationship with her had turned sour but I’m deeply saddened that I have to be the innocent victim of a desperate attempt to restore an ended relationship. It’s too late for that. Yilmaz has made a decision to start a new life and a family with me, his wife, and our upcoming child.

That’s Ruffa Gutierrez, heavy with her and husband Yilmaz Bektas’ first child due first week of next month, reacting from Los Angeles to an article entitled Selen’s Side in the latest issue of Yes! Magazine.

In e-mails to Yes! editor-in-chief Jo-Ann Maglipon in reaction to the magazine’s story on Ruffa and Yilmaz’s wedding in the May 2003 issue, Selen identified herself as Selen Gorguzel, 24, claiming to be the woman Yilmaz married on Oct. 27, 1997 in a wedding ceremony so simple and quiet – in contrast to Ruffa and Yilmaz’s en grande wedding at The Fort last March 25 – that "I had no wedding dress."

Selen added that while Ruffa and Yilmaz’s wedding may have been big news in Manila but it was not so in Turkey. (Actually, the wedding was played up by some newspapers in Turkey, clippings of which were first published in The STAR and later in Yes! – RFL) Selen has a daughter by Yilmaz and it was Ruffa herself who revealed it in a Conversation with this columnist last February, a month before her and Yilmaz’s wedding.

Describing Yilmaz as "my first love, my first man," Selen said that Yilmaz is a "modern Muslim" in whose life women come and go, "but I’m always there for him." She added that Yilmaz married Ruffa because she got pregnant. "Ruffa wanted that," said Selen. "Yilmaz did not plan it...We are Muslims and we believe that an abortion is haram (which means it’s a big sin that God will never forgive). He attended that wedding in Manila because he is thoughtful enough not to put his future baby’s mother down in front of her people.

"If that wedding party was a real one where was his family? If you believe that they could not come because of the war, how come Yilmaz and his friend were able to come?"

After the wedding, Yilmaz left for Turkey and Ruffa followed a week later, staying in Istanbul only for a few days during which, according to Ruffa, Selen harrassed her by hauling members of the Turkey media in front of her and Yilmaz’s house and screaming at her. Ruffa then flew to L.A. where she has been staying since then at the Gutierrez’s residence in Beverly Hills. Showbiz-watchers have been wondering why she and Yilmaz have been living apart, making Selen wonder, "If she is the only and first wife, why am I the one who is at home with him... why is he not next to a pregnant wife, but he is next to me?"

On the day she made a phone call to Yes!, related Selen, she and Yilmaz, along with their daughter, were swimming and having barbecue not on the beach but in the same house featured in the Yes! story on the Ruffa-Yilmaz wedding.

Yes, that house. Selen claimed that Yilmaz built it for her and not for Ruffa. "It’s called Acarkent in Istanbul, a place with many houses of the same kind. I have another house, depends on the weather. And Ruffa said Yilmaz built it for her? B______t!"

Won’t Selen leave Ruffa and Yilmaz alone and in peace, to live happily ever after now that they are married?

Said Selen, "...I promise everybody, if he says to my face in front of everybody ‘Selen, you are not my wife, my first and only wife is Ruffa,’ that will be the minute I will be out of his life, and I will wish them the best.’ But so far we are happy here unless Ruffa disturbs me with dirty phone calls."

When contacted by Funfare for comment and reaction, Ruffa said that she just came home from the Cedars Sinai Hospital due to cramps and contraction. False alarm, she said. "It was due to stress."

Anyway, here’s Ruffa’s official statement, in full:

I, Ruffa Gutierrez-Bektas, am issuing this statement to set the record straight and rectify the erroneous claims made by Selen Gorguzel on the July, 2003 issue of Yes! Magazine.

First and foremost, I am the first and ONLY legal wife of Yilmaz Bektas. We were married in Christian rites last March 25, 2003 at the NBC Tent, Fort Bonifacio, Philippines. The ceremony was witnessed by thousands, perhaps even millions, as it was televised and publicized nationwide. The Turkish Embassy in the Philippines as well as the Turkish government in Ankara can attest to this.

I feel that although our lives have been made public due to the nature of my being in show business, I am basically a private individual, and am being unjustly treated by this woman. The false allegation she has overtly made has caused me and my family unwarranted grief.

In life, some relationships prosper but some don’t work out. I feel sorry that my husband’s relationship with her had turned sour but I’m deeply saddened that I have to be the innocent victim of a desperate attempt to restore an ended relationship. It’s too late for that. Yilmaz made a decision to start a new life and a family with me, his wife and our upcoming child.

I wish she would stop trying to destroy my relationship with my husband and realize that it’s time to move on. For now, I refuse to further scrutinize this woman’s accusations and justify her actions. I pray that she finds peace within herself soon. In time, I trust the Lord that the truth shall prevail.

Admittedly, I believe I was wrong in going against the advice of my parents and my manager (Angeli Pangilinan-Valenciano) to stay by my husband’s side in Turkey. But having gotten married at a time the political situation was uncertain due to the war between the US and Iraq, I felt that it would be wise for me to stay and give birth in the US where I would be surrounded by family and friends. It isn’t easy for us to be apart but this is only temporary as we mutually agreed that he would be by my side in time to witness a most important event in our married life.

I’m truly grateful to my husband, my immediate family, all my friends and supporters who continuously stick by me and grant me the strength to deal with all this specially at this most fragile state I’m in. Their love and prayers have helped me withstand such difficult times.

May God grant us the wisdom to discern what’s right, the will to choose it and the strength to endure it.

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