Jomari on ‘sleep-in’ rumor: Propesterous

Yes, that’s Jomari Yllana’s light-hearted one-word reaction to rumors, a "blind item" in this corner included, that a sexy actress whose initials are A.M. has been sleeping with him at his mom’s house in Parañaque City where he has been (temporarily) staying since his separation from his wife, Quezon City Councilor Aiko Melendez, whose initials also happen to be, that’s it, A.M.

"Propesterous," said Jomari good-humoredly. "Prospesterous!"

Anyway, before I get summoned to the Senate "for contempt" or for "direct assault on the I.Q. (as in ‘I Question’?)" of a certain mambabatas (not the synonym of mambabastos, I hasten to clarify), I want to let you in on a reaction letter Jomari promptly sent to Funfare to set the record straight.

Here it is, as is:

Dear Ricky,

Sino ba talaga ang girlfriend ko?

It’s Saturday (Aug. 25) and while I was having lunch, my mom handed me copies of the Philippine STAR and Malaya.

You hinted (blind item) that Ara Mina has been sleeping in my mom’s house (where I temporarily stay).

I deny that.

Ethel Ramos in her Malaya column wondered if I was having an affair with Elizabeth Oropesa.

I deny that.

Erlinda Rapadas (if my memory serves me right) said I was going steady with LJ Moreno.

I deny that.

Dolly Ann Carvajal wrote in the Inquirer that I was seen at a Makati disco with Jackie Forster.

I admit that.

However, Dolly Ann conveniently forgot to mention that on that same occasion I had three other dates: Sharmaine Arnaiz (who I shared good memories with five years ago), Gracia a.k.a. Samantha Lopez and LJ. "Inaliw" nila ako.

I notice that when you marry, you become more desirable because you’re unobtainable. But when you separate... whew!... some people think you’re available.

My wife Aiko is not spared of the same rumors. We are presently trying to work things out, and a separation does not give us the moral right to jump into affairs.

I cannot help but be amused with these developments. One columnist has one different girlfriend to link me with. Ang dami naman!

As I write this, I’m tempted to ask just one question: Who let the dogs out?

Who! Who who who who! — Jomari

There. Loud and clear.

(*Footnote: Propesterous, the synonym of prospesterous is an adjective accidentally coined by a Senator during a preposterous session in the august hall of the Philippine Upper House. It’s not yet found in any dictionary, Webster or otherwise, and it simply means... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! He, he, he, he, he! Hu, hu, hu, hu, hu!)

Is Mikey also saying, ‘Ouch, ouch!’?

While the whole entertainment industry is rising as one in protest over the imposition of 20 percent withholding tax effective next month, one prominent member of the industry has remained intriguingly quiet when he should be the one leading his colleagues in shouting, "Unfair, unfair, unfair!"

He’s none other than First Son Mikey Macapagal Arroyo, a bona fide member of the entertainment industry, he being an actor first, as he himself has been loudly proclaiming before being a politician (Vice Governor to Lito Lapid in Pampanga). Unlike the rest of the industry, Mikey isn’t saying, "Ouch, ouch!," is he?

Maybe he should remind his mom, President GMA, about her post-EDSA II promise to help the industry which is the most tax-ridden in the movie world, burdened to its knees with onerous taxes (entertainment tax, flood tax, etc.). And now comes the 20 percent withholding tax.

Mikey has been telling everybody that his asking price is now a staggering P1 million per movie, thanks to the movie folk which greatly helped install his mom in Malacañang with their participation in EDSA People Power II. Does that mean that Mikey will now get only P800,000 (minus 20 percent withholding tax) as take-home pay?

Tell us, Mikey, are you with the industry or not with the industry? You can’t be "neutral" in this issue, Mikey, because you too are a victim like your colleagues – unless, of course, the 20 percent withholding tax is chicken feed with you.

In fairness to John E.

Now that her and sister Gelli’s daily GMA show SIS has gotten off the launching pad, effective yesterday (10:30 to 11:30 a.m.), Janice de Belen should stop lambasting her estranged husband John Estrada like she did in the media hype leading up to the show’s premiere. Thus far, Janice has let loose quite a mouthful while John (bless him!) who, admittedly isn’t a "saint," has remained quiet, saying not a single negative word against Janice.

Enough already, Janice, or you might start to sound like a broken record at your and your show’s expense. What if, just if, for the sake of ratings you and Gelli would be required – or pressured into – inviting John as SIS guest, would you eat back your words? It happened between you and Aga Muhlach whom you had given the cold-shoulder treatment for years, until you made peace with him because you needed him for a one-on-one on S-Files.

I watched SIS’s maiden episode yesterday and I "felt at home" because the show’s format is very much like that of Tessie Tomas’ show Feel At Home where Tessie visits celebrities at home for some chicka-chika. Among the guests were Sharmaine Arnaiz and sister Bunny Paras, Ara Mina and sister Hana and Lani Misalucha and her two sisters. The only difference is that SIS has two hosts. But SIS looked promising and it’s too early to tell where it’s going.

Meanwhile, feel free and "feel at home" with Janice and Gelli on SIS.