Grossness as an art form - STAR BYTES by Butch Francisco

With the bomb scare going on and half of SM Megamall’s cinemas and the whole Robinsons Galleria’s chain of theaters shut down for renovation, movie viewing in Metro Manila is in the doldrums once more. I was therefore lucky to have stumbled into a really funny comedy called Say It Isn’t So.

Say It Isn’t So is a film by the Farrelly Brothers, the creative group started the trend of coming up with really gross, but guaranteed to make you laugh comedy flicks. (Remember There’s Something About Mary?)

The movie’s first half is set in Indiana. In the film’s opening, the viewer is introduced to the male lead, Chris Klein, a fine young man who spent many lonely years growing up in an orphanage. Later, he meets Heather Graham, a beautiful hairstylist who gives the worst haircut ever known to man.

The character of Heather Graham actually reminds me of this trite local barbershop joke all of you must be very familiar with by now. This is the one that makes fun of people who just had their haircut: "Samahan mo nga ako du’n sa gumupit sa iyo," the heckler tells the guy fresh out of the barbershop. "Bakit?" asks the latter. "Papatayin natin," the heckler replies.

In the case of Chris Klein, Heather Graham doesn’t only give him a haircut that could have driven a porcupine to commit suicide. She also accidentally cuts off the top of his right ear. Ouch!

But instead of stabbing Heather Graham with a pair of scissors, he forgives her easily and even falls in love with her. The feeling is mutual. Graham also falls for Klein.

Everything seems to go well with both of them – until it is revealed that they share the same biological mother (Sally Field). The whole town is therefore scandalized because as lovers, well, they didn’t just play scrabble and monopoly when they were alone with each other. Obviously, they also had fun.

Out of shame, Heather Graham flees to Oregon where she romances an old flame named Jack, a rich fellow with a dubious background. She is actually about to marry this heel Jack when another twist unfolds: It is revealed that Chris and Heather are not siblings after all. (Did you actually think they really were?)

Chris therefore drives all the way to Oregon to stop the wedding and the rest is a merry chase with a lot of obstacles along the way. In the end, you’ll fall off your seat when you find out who the mother of Chris Klein really is. So it is best to watch this movie from the beginning.

Chris Klein and Heather Graham do very well as the lead characters. Both stars should be familiar to followers of Hollywood films. Chris is best remembered as the male virgin in American Pie. He followed this up with the romantic drama, Here on Earth.

Heather Graham, a raving beauty, was seen by local movie audiences in Lost in Space and in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

The one performer in this film who steals the show is Sally Field. Of course, prior to her winning her two Oscar Best Actress trophies (for the drama films Norma Rae and Places in the Heart), the whole world knew that she was a comedian on American television.

But you’ll never believe – that is, until you see her in Say It Isn’t So – that Sally Field can be so wild and wacky.

I’m telling you, the naive and innocent novice of the Convent of San Tanco, the very wholesome Sister Bertrille (the character she plays in Flying Nun) is also capable of dishing out toilet humor. The whole generation that was raised on the TV series Gidget should brace themselves for a collective heart attack once they see her at her wildest here in Say It Isn’t So.

Sally Field’s performance in Say It Isn’t So is actually just in keeping with the overall flavor of this comedy film. And what exactly is the flavor of this movie? Deliciously tasteless – I would say. I know I’m contradicting myself, but that is the best way to describe this film.

Would you care for a piece of toast dabbed with armpit sweat? Well, you may find the thought revolting. But not the way Sally Field serves it in Say It Isn’t So. The sight is disgusting, all right, but the way the scene is executed in this film is so funny, you’ll hate yourself afterward for laughing your head off at something so sick and detestable.

Say It Isn’t So, however, isn’t as funny and riotous as American Pie. Some of the scenes in Say It Isn’t So, in fact, are quite predictable.

But this film – in general – is still outrageously funny.

It is senseless, crude, crass, sick and vulgar – and yet I enjoyed it! Are my sensibilities now warped? Please say it isn’t so.

Maybe let’s just say that the Farrelly Brothers have elevated grossness in their films into an art form.