Ang secret ni Trisha

Dear Dr. Love,

Hi! Alam mo ba, many times I’ve tried to write you, kaya lang, I was hesitant until I finally had the strength to do it, to share this feeling that I’ll never be happy anymore and I’ll never find true happiness all my life.

Call me Trisha, 21 years-old and I can say na I have most of the qualities na hinahanap ng isang guy sa girl. Sexy, attractive, smart, super sweet at masarap magluto except for one thing, a child. Yah, right. I have a 4-year-old daughter and she is a big secret to everybody.

Alam kong I am being unfair to my daughter because I am not playing the role of a perfect mom to her. My mom is the one who’s taking care of her.

Me, I go out a lot, date a lot, enjoyed a lot. I’m doing things I’ve never experienced before.

I got the chance to meet guys and I get to know them, go dating with them. I enjoyed every special attention from them. But the problem is not even one knows the real me, the situation I’m into.

I did not tell them the truth ’coz I am afraid I’m gonna lose their company.

I know the fact that they only like me because of those things they see in me — and not the real me.

I am fed up hiding the real me. Sawa na ako sa mga alibi na hindi puwede akong madalaw sa bahay dahil very strict ang mga parents ko and I don’t believe in courtship.

It is so untrue, because the truth is I’m just scared to bring them home dahil baka malaman nila ang aking secret.

My life is so empty, so incomplete without someone to share my life with. I can’t appreciate the beauty of stars and moon at night without someone to look at them with.

I don’t know for how long will I play the role of "Great Pretender". Mayroon pa kayang posibilidad na makakatagpo pa ako ng isang tunay na iibig sa akin dahil sa tunay na ako?

I’m tired of being alone, Dr. Love.

By the way, will you please give my "Congratulations" to Mojacko because he finally found someone who will love him back the way he loved her which I would too?

Thanks for the space. Thanks to all of you, to your column. Honestly, I won’t last a day without it. I learned a lot from it.

Trisha

Dear Trisha,

Thank you too, for your letter and nice poem which we were unable to print in this column due to space limitations.

Alam mo, I was touched by your letter. Alam kong deep inside you, mahal mo ang iyong anak. You want to tell the whole world about her but can’t do so because of several constraints. Una, sinabi mo nang ayaw mong lumayo sa iyo ang mga kaibigan mo. Hindi kaya mas malaking constraint ang maaaring malaking kahihiyan ng pamilya?

Hindi mo puwedeng itago ang isang anak sa habang panahon. Dapat noon mo pang una inilantad ito para maging normal ang paglaki ng iyong anak.

The fact na binuhay mo ito sa kabila ng paghihiwalay ninyo ng boyfriend mo, ito ay isang malaking plus factor para sa iyo na dapat pang hangaan sa iyo ng mga kaibigan mo.

Hindi ka nag-iisa sa problema mo dahil marami akong kilalang may kahalintulad na karanasan subalit hindi nila itinago ang kanilang nakaraan.

Alam mo bang nakatagpo pa rin sila ng mabuting tao at ang kanilang anak sa pagkadalaga ay inadopt pa ng pinakasalan nilang lalaki?

Huwag mong ikahiya ang nakaraan. Be true to yourself and don’t deprive your daughter with what she deserves as a child. Mas traumatic pa sa kanya ang pagkakabatid ng katotohanan in the end kaysa mabatid niya ito sa una pa lang.

Bata ka pa sa edad na 21-years-old. Ang hindi magandang naging resulta ng una mong pag-ibig ay nakatulong kung bakit ka insecure, walang pinagtitiwalaan at baligtad ang pananaw sa buhay.

Hindi ka nga magiging masaya kung lagi kang magsisinungaling. Ilabas mo ang tunay na ikaw and the truth will set you free.

Mas makikilala mo ang tunay na nagmamahal sa iyo kung magiging totoo ka sa sarili at sa kanila.

Cultivate your love for writing. Makabubuti ito para mailabas mo ang iyong damdamin.

Dr. Love