Let go of the past? Don’t!

The windshield mirror is larger than the rear view mirror. You need to focus on your future and not stay in the past.

I totally agree. I have read books and heard speakers both here and abroad who encouraged people to move forward, forget the past and explore the possibilities of a beautiful future.

This is where I put on the brakes. Hold it. Let go of the past?

The past is already a part of our lives and we cannot let go of something that has already taken place.

If we let go of it, then how can we learn gratitude? How can we remember the contributions of people who have helped us in our journey? And so we need to process this.

In my seminars, I always ask this question.

What is the best teacher?

My audience would answer experience. But I would say “not exactly.”

Experience is not the best teacher. If many of us keep on repeating the same mistake, then we have never been really taught by experience. Only “evaluated experience” is the best teacher. While there is partial truth to the cliché saying that goes “you need to let go of the past” we don’t completely disregard the past, we have to process it correctly.

Many people I know have made bad choices in the past and they certainly cannot change the results.

And if you find yourself in a similar situation, perhaps you are wondering how your past could affect your future.

Here are some assessment questions you need to ask yourself regarding past choices that did not deliver the results you wanted:

What past experiences do I really want to remember? What were the things, the events and the results in my past life that gave me credibility? Things that I have already integrated into my life right now.

Does relieving your past experiences encourage you to become better?  Do they offer you ideas on improvement and do they provide life lessons that form the very foundation from which you can make wise choices in the future?

These are the points of the past that you should not let go or you might lose the opportunity to improve. If you honestly evaluate yourself today, you would know that many of your strong points were actually products of your past mistakes and failures but you chose to process these lessons. Thus, they have become your areas of strength.

Now, here comes another sensitive question.

Do you relive those hurtful and embarrassing memories that have caused you pain and made you anxious only to conveniently utilize them as excuses for poor judgment and wrong decisions?

Don’t let go of them, use them as mental “post it notes” instead, to remind you not to repeat the same mistakes.

This is why you don’t just let go and forget the past without learning from it.

In other words, “DO NOT LOSE THE LESSON EVEN IF YOU LOSE.”

The mistakes you made in the past do not define you. In fact, you are not your past. They are merely a collection of experiences you had. And as my favorite motivational speaker Zig Ziglar would say, “You can’t change your past but you can create your future.”

The year is almost over. Evaluate the things that didn’t turn out well and process the lessons. Assess the things that went well and process them as well. Do not just let go of the past, you need to profit from it. And just as the sun rises up every day and offers us a new slate, God’s mercies are new every morning. Ask me about it and I have so many stories to tell.

(Start the New Year right with Francis Kong learning leadership and life skills as he present Level Up Leadership on Jan. 21-22 at EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries, contact Inspire at 09158055910 or call 632-6310912 for details.)