LJ Reyes: Better not bitter

MANILA, Philippines - LJ Reyes readily admitted that she was traumatized by her failed last relationship. But she’d rather focus on the important lessons she got out of it.

“Actually, nakaka-trauma din talaga yun. I won’t lie. Yes, of course, I was also rooting for us (to end up together). But certain circumstances happened, di mo naman kontrolado yun and yeah, it’s traumatic. But maybe, trauma is not the right word to use, I’d rather use (the term) lesson. Life taught you a lesson and you should learn from it,” the 26-year-old Kapuso actress opened up to reporters about her break-up with Paulo Avelino, with whom she has a four-year-old son Aki. 

She said she’s long past the stage of analyzing what went wrong. “I’m past that. For me, since you know what really happened, and you tried everything kasi ganun naman ako, try talaga lahat ng pwedeng gawin. Tiis lang ng tiis ng ganyan but if it doesn’t really work…”   

LJ has learned not to be bitter about it through prayers. “I get out of a relationship if I really know in my heart that there’s nothing I can do about it. (When I’m really) pushed to the limits. Pag-wala na talaga, it means di na talaga kaya. Of course, you’re still hurting, but there’s nothing you can do about it already. But you get stronger with prayers and with faith.”

Asked if Paulo also did his part in trying to save their relationship, she replied, “Maybe it happened too late. It’s hard to explain what happened to us… I’m sure we learned a lot from our relationship.”

There was a time when people around them were encouraging them to get married. “We wanted to take everything slowly but surely. Aki was unplanned when he came to our lives but then we had to step up to our responsibilities so we put that first so that Aki is secured. Yun sana muna that time. (Yes, step-by step) but it didn’t (progress) to step 2.”

At the time, a priest who was a family friend and confidante advised them that marriage wasn’t the answer. “(He said) your relationship — you have to let it grow until such time you think it’s time for you to get married — not because you already have a child together.”

 Nevertheless, LJ is happy that she and her ex are very civil with each other and are one in becoming the best parents to Aki (who is now a very active preschooler), stressing that Paulo never fails in his responsibilities as a father.

In raising Aki, she gets tips “from my mommy, from my sibling who is also a parent. Being a mother is not really by the book, you learn by experience. Most of the time, all mothers have different experiences. It’s very challenging because right now he’s a toddler; he has a lot of questions.”

Does Aki have an idea of their situation? LJ answered, “He knows our situation. He has this concept of Daddy’s house, Mommy’s house. Maybe eventually, he will ask more questions. But ever since Pau and I separated, I’ve been talking to him…I’m sure it’s still a very vague idea of what’s happening, but at least, you’ve told him than wait for him to ask.”

She’s also not ready to be in another relationship. “I’m not ready to commit to anybody because gusto ko pag‑commit ko, yun na yun.”

Meanwhile, LJ will star in the upcoming teleserye Yagit, which will start taping as soon as the production finds the four kids who will play the major roles in the soap.

She doesn’t mind if she’s usually getting kontrabida roles. “It doesn’t matter whether kontrabida or bida. What I’m after is the character, how complex it is, and how it will challenge me. Bida and kontrabida are just labels for easier distinguishing.”

LJ will also be next seen playing the wife of Dennis Trillo in the Cinemalaya 2014 entry The Janitor, an action-drama directed by Mike Tuviera.