Wimby Hotties

Things had been looking good for the men’s top seed in the quarters but the other night’s results were not great. I had wanted to see a classic finals match between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal but the former was not cooperative.

I watched Federer’s game with the wifey against Jo Wilfred Tsonga and declared him the winner with a 2 - 0 set advantage, then said nightie night. I was dreaming of the beautiful ladies playing on the grass of Wimbledon when at about past midnight, I was nudged from pleasant slumber and informed of RF’s crash. Yeah, I got back to sleep but this time, my dream was about football, played, in all places at the Spratlys, with a grenade being kicked around by yes, China vs the Azkals with pistols on their waists.

There is no truth to the story that the carpeting and mattress on Federer’s hotel room was damp as he cried himself to sleep after the loss to Tsonga. I’m sure my pa-in-law also lost sleep last night with RF”s loss. But I’m sure he did not cry.           

Nadal has an injury and this could be a problem when he plays Andy Murray. If Rafa bombs out, then it will be the wifey’s turn to lose sleep. She just might weep.

Going to our main story, tennis has introduced and produced not only talented ladies but also model materials, ladies who managed to look hot not only on-court but off-court as well that they scorch the eyeballs of oglers. England shares the glory and the list below, in no particular order, are the women who made the game more than a spectator sport by gracing the grass courts of Wimby at some periods in their careers.

Anna Kournikova - Now retired at 30-years old, she was ranked number 1 in 1999 but injuries forced her to cut short her career. She has never won a singles title but won the doubles in 1999 and 2002 with Martina Hingis, another tennis hottie. Both were then called the “Spice Girls” of tennis. Kournikova’s last Wmby singles appearance was in 1997. If you’re a cocktail drinker, a variation of the White Russian, using skimmed milk, is named after her. She became an American citizen in November 2010.

Venus Williams - Oh yes, we know her. The bootylicious. I suppose you’ve seen pics of Venus romping on the beaches of Miami in a dangerously skimpy bikini. When we see her butt, think about a lunar eclipse in a thong. Yay! The lady has brains as she graduated cum laude in fashion design, and yes she has the dollars. With sister Serena, they co-own NFL’s Miami Dolphins.

Simona Halep - The Romanian teenager lost to Venus in the 2nd round a few days ago. What’s interesting about this girl is that she had breast reduction surgery to improve her game. Well, it could have helped. In 2008, at 17-years old, she was ranked #352 in the world. The following year, she had the procedure and now she ranks #57. Extended bumpers are God-given feminine gems. You don’t normally mess with it. And at a very young age to go through that kind of surgery. Researching and investing in a really functional sports bra that control and put those jugglers in place is more logical.

Daniela Hantuchova - The fifth female player in history to win the mixed doubles title in all 4 Grand Slam tournaments. The 26-year old lady from Slovakia modeled and appeared in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She’s a classical pianist and aside from her native Slovak, also speaks English and German. Her last Wimby appearance was in 2005.

Maria Kirilenko - The face of Adidas in 2006. Together with Hantuchova, appeared in SI’s 2009 Swinsuit issue, the “Volley of the Dolls” pictorial. She reached the third round in this year’s Wimbledon.

 Ana Ivanovic - The 23-year old former number one began playing at the age of 5. She is Serbia’s National Ambassador to UNICEF owing to her interest in education and child protection. She was a former Nike endorser but in 2006 signed a lifetime contract with Adidas, becoming the youngest athlete, male or female, to ink that kind of deal. Last appeared in Wmby in 2007.

Caroline Wozniacki - Young at 20, the current world #1 is the first Danish player to hold the position without winning a title. She has a good pedigree in sports considering that her mother played for the Polish national volleyball team. Her father was a pro footballer and his brother likewise plays pro football in the Danish League. She got upset in the 4th round of this Wimby to

 Dominika Cibulkova - The Slovakian beauty ranked #25 has not maintained her good showing. She was ranked as high as #12 but at 22, she still has a long way to go.

She reached this year’s Wimbledon quarterfinals but lost.

Maria Sharapova - Oh, the groaning and grunting, hearing it borders on the erotic to agonizing. Who cares? She’s the only top seed left in the women’s draw. She’s Nike’s 70 million dollar girl, in the process landing her in 2010’s Forbes list of highest paid female athlete with $24.5 million in earnings. I understand her boyfriend, former Laker, now Nets guard Sasha Vujacic is passionate about his game but I doubt if he creates as much noise as Maria when he plays basketball.

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