Thought-provoking names

Every once in a while in our existence, we encounter the unexpected, in this case, extra-ordinary sounding names. Overcoming the mild shock, we take a second or third look to verify what we have heard or seen. Several of us have queer-sounding names and my person is no exception. Do your research and you'll get my point.

 From the borderline obscene to the ridiculously sublime and everything in between, here are some of the sporting world's nomenclature anomaly whose mention bring smiles to our faces. These names are real, how they got them is another story.

 3K Battery - A boxer from Thailand who probably survives on engine oil and battery fluid. No, his dad is not named CRDi Turbo and mom is not Twin Cam 16-Valve.

Misty Hyman - With the way Caucasians pronounce this American Olympic swimmer's name, it guarantees some snickers. Like, you broke your... You know.

World B. Free - The retired NBA player was born Lloyd Bernard Free. Why he changed his name beats the earth out of me.

Coco Crisp - Aside from maintaining a major league baseball team, the Oakland Athletics transformed one of their players into a breakfast cereal.

Miroslav Satan - From the National Hockey League, if he's not getting goals, he'll take opponents' souls.

Chief Kickingstallionsims - Say what, Chief? Standing at 7-1, this college baller averages a mediocre 8 points and 4 rebounds per, the intimidating name notwithstanding.

Majestic and Scientific Mapp - The Mapp brothers of college basketball. probably named after a restaurant and a calculator.

Pooh Richardson - Pooh is synonymous with poop. Of all the aromatic names available, the former LA Clipper fell in love with the stinkiest.

God Shammgod - In their previous lives, his parents could have been a bishop and a nun. This college basketball standout had a teammate playing center named Karim Shabazz.

Imagine the play-by-play commentary going like, "Shamgod alley-oop to Shabazz.... Bam..! Shazaam..!"

Mysterious Walker - In college, he was a multi-sport athlete. He played pro baseball but never stayed put with the several teams he was involved, mysteriously walking way each time.

 And saving two of the best for last....

 Dick Trickle - Retired NASCAR driver. If he was still active now, given NASCAR's fixation with sponsors, Trickle would have been a perfect and live advertisement for condoms, viagra and other nocturnal performance-enhancing drugs. The ad could go like this, "Soft? Let Dick Trickle you." Got it?

Lucious Pusey - Question. Why would your mom christen you with Lucious if your last name is Pusey? She needs enlightenment. I don't wanna know his sister's name. Lucious plays college football and defends against charging dicks, to state the obvious.

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 One of the events that I look forward to is the SMB-SAC Awards where top Cebuano athletes who have made Cebu proud are recognized. For a very personal reason, I missed out on last week's affair, missed rubbing elbows with the achievers and do some photo ops. I missed on the chance to meet Dan Palami, PH football's bright shining light. I missed the guys and gals of Cebu's sportswriting community. Time spent with these people are always lively and fun, never mind if we meet more seldom than a solar eclipse. There were negative feedbacks, but as in every succesfull endeavor, there are always the nay-sayers. We can live with that. Congratulations, SACers! Here's to a bigger and grander event next year.

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