Don’t be a Victim of Self-Pity

Have you ever told yourself, “Poor me!” – because of some circumstances in your life?  An unknown writer in the book, “A Time To Be Free, Daily Meditation For Enhancing Self-Esteem,” shared this sentiment: “Some years ago, I was unhappy with the results of a legal dispute in which I had been involved. I felt extremely sorry for myself and for weeks made my woes known to anyone who would listen.

“Most of my friends were sympathetic. After a while, however, one of them told me it was time to end the “pity party” and start getting my life back in order. He strongly suggested that I write an inventory on self-pity.

“These are some of the things I learned from my inventory –  The more I indulged in self-pity, the more self-obsessed I became; Self-pity inevitably brought me unhappiness and alienation from those who cared about me. As long as I felt sorry for myself, nothing changed for the better.”

There was a young woman whom I knew of who imprisoned herself in self-pity for a while. Her best friend flirted with her boyfriend, until she learned from her friends that the two were ‘on’ already. She hated them for betraying her. With God’s grace, she soon awoke from her nightmare and realized what a fool she was for torturing herself. Now, she is in the U.S happily married to a Filipino engineer.

Amy Morin of “Psychology Today website,” writes:

Whether you’ve been rejected by a love interest or you’re overwhelmed by a looming deadline, throwing a pity party won’t help. In fact, feeling sorry for yourself can be downright self-destructive. It makes overcoming adversity difficult – if not impossible – and it keeps you stuck.”

There are ways to avoid the trap of self-pity like what mentally-strong people do as Morin observes:

• They refuse to complain. Venting to other people about the magnitude of your problems fuels self-pity. Mentally-strong people don’t try to gain sympathy from others by complaining about their difficult circumstances. Instead, they either take action to make things better, or accept the situations that they cannot change.

• They maintain an optimistic outlook. Some of life’s problems cannot be prevented or solved.  The loss of loved ones, natural disasters, and certain health conditions are problems most of us will face at one time or another, but mentally-strong people keep an optimistic outlook about their ability to handle whatever life throws their way.

• They help other people. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re busy helping those who are less fortunate. Problems like demanding customers or declining sales don’t seem so bad when you’re reminded that there are people who lack food and shelter.  Rather than ruminate on their own inconveniences, mentally-strong people strive to improve the lives of others.

As another unknown writer puts it: “Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present situation, is not only a waste of energy, but the worst habit you could possibly have.”

Soothing, Relaxing, Refreshing

Recently launched in Cebu, Danarra Aromatherapy Oil gives the same benefits of other soothing balms but with the bonus of fine fragrance. Thus, the effects are enhanced, more relaxing and more refreshing.

The name Danarra is derived from the word “Nadarra,” which, in the Scottish Gaelic vocabulary means “natural.” Celtic knots were chosen to become its symbol because Danarra and the Celtic knots connote interconnectedness between a person and nature.

Danarra Aromatherapy Oil helps boost mental activity, provide a calming effect, helps relieve headache and nervous exhaustion and restlessness, for a fresh and energized feeling, relieving stress and lifting the person’s mood.

Danarra Aromatherapy Oil is available at Mercury Drug Stores nationwide.