Parenting Stress

CEBU, Philippines - Stress is almost always a negative thing. Unless a little stress is necessary in order to cause one to come to full awareness. For example, when one is faced with some threat, he becomes so watchful about how things will unfold.

But, of course, starting at a certain point, stress begins to get in the way of one’s life. Especially stress caused by people that are hard to escape, like family members. As the saying goes: “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” Children, elderly parents, and visiting relatives all can be sources of stress, according to Jane Collingwood in her article at the website www.psychcentral.com.

Collingwood further cites the stressful areas at home and at work:

Children bring happiness and fun, but can also be exhausting. Becoming a parent dramatically changes one’s daily routine and sleep pattern, bringing many new pressures.

Whether one stays at home or goes to work, are single or married, has one child or six, the challenges are enormous. Staying calm and collected all the time is an impossible goal. Small hassles can add up until he or she is ready to burst.

This stress won’t just disappear, so the person concerned better look for ways in which he or she can reduce the strain:

Remember it’s not meant to be easy, but any problems you have will have been overcome by many parents before you. Search them out to use them as a sounding board.

Adjust your priorities, including previous standards of order and neatness. Don’t take on unnecessary duties and responsibilities.

If you’re doing your best, don’t feel guilty. Every parent gets stressed and is sometimes overwhelmed.

Accept any help that’s offered. If you can afford it, consider paying someone to help with the cleaning, shopping or laundry, especially at busy times.

Take advice from people whose opinion you trust, and get specific advice when issues arise.

Set up a lockable, fireproof filing system for important documents, and use it.

Take care of yourself. Use stress management techniques and be alert to any symptoms. Take time for relaxation. You will be setting a great example for your children.

Plan ahead. Get as much as possible ready for the following day, and give yourself extra time to leave the house.

Anticipate and prepare for problems before they arise.

Write lists and use a calendar. You can’t be expected to remember everything.

Keep communicating with your children, and take the time to ease their worries.

Working and bringing up children often is challenging, Collingwood notes. During the tough times, she advices, remember and focus on why you made this choice. She cautions that there will inevitably be conflicts between work and family responsibilities, and suggests that one better prepares as much as possible.

Collingwood encourages parents to build up their support network, emergency funds, and their own energy. She suggests that they adopt effective coping strategies and don’t put impossible pressure on themselves. In conclusion, Collingwood says, “Plan ahead, get help when you need it, and look for creative solutions.” (FREEMAN)