The single talks back

CEBU, Philippines – I grew up in a sleepy barangay in Leyte, where everyone knows everyone.  While I was studying in this big city of Cebu, relatives - even the distant ones - were impelling me to get the degree. Every time I got to go home, they always had a thing to say about finishing college versus dating. Their warnings were often worse than those of my own parents’.  I didn't pay them much attention then.

After four years and one semester I brought home a bachelor's diploma.  I was given the hero treatment - wide smiles and warm congratulations, of course.  But it felt like it were my relatives who have earned the degree - they turned into experts giving me a lecture on romance, with all their 'dos and don'ts' on dating. To tell the truth, this time I was already a bit interested to listen.

And then, after a few months of floundering around, I got a well-paying job. While I was enjoying my single blessedness - my own money and no responsibilities - my relatives had also been developing another expertise on me. Now, they had become the authorities in the institution of marriage. They preached to me about the perfect time to settle down.

Are they kidding me? I thought. I was on a roll, why settle down?  I could go with friends to practically anywhere for anything at a moment's notice.  I was having the time of my life!  I was having so much fun that I didn't notice the passage of time until I turned thirty.  That's when things turned ugly.

Now, I'm the butt of every joke at family gatherings.  They'd say I missed my window but maybe they can still sell me at half the price.  Come again?!

Excuse me, but I disagree.  Experts say that the basic to a successful marriage is for both parties in the union to be emotionally, intellectually and financially stable.  Yes, it takes more than that, but that's the basic requirement.

With three decades of experience under my belt, I am at an age where I can look at things through a screen of maturity that enables me to decide which things to take seriously and which to take in stride.  Those years I spent making friends with different personalities have given me a better understanding of the human psyche.  I can safely say I can now handle any kind of relationship fairly well.  Except, maybe, when the boyfriend turns out to be a psycho.

I am currently on my second year at graduate school.  Although each new semester makes me realize how stupid I was the semester before; I believe I am progressing intellectually.  If anyone wants to contest that, they better talk to my 'favorite' professors.

Living alone has taught me all about budgeting.  I have to manage my finances very well or I'll starve before the next pay day arrives.  My only debts, which are payable in two years, are with the two government offices favored by most employees all over the country.  I don't have a credit card.

I have never been evicted by a landlord.  I haven't received any type of disconnection notice, either water, electricity or internet.  Never been fired from work.  Never been arrested, well, except that one time I didn't notice the no-jay-walking sign. How's that for a responsible adult?

How dare them say I am way past the marriage mart?  I am earning three times more than I was earning ten years ago.  At my present pay rate, housing loan approval would be a walk in the park.  I have a stable job with a very stable company.

By the way, I'm well insured too.  In case of untimely passage, my heirs are taken care of. All in all, I would be a great catch.

But, on second thought, why am I even saying all this, in the first place? Do I need to explain myself to anyone? Well, maybe I'm just being defensive.