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Freeman Cebu Lifestyle

Feng Shui Baby Luck!

NONON-SENSEFENGSHUI - Aldric Dalumpines - The Freeman

Having problems having a baby? Try feng shui, it can work! Except if there is a proven medical or biological parenthood impediment or if simply age now matters as in menopause already.

Having a baby is a many splendored dream of couples in love. But sometimes nature does not cooperate and their dream remains a fantasy.

For the skeptics and the frustrated, when all else fails, provided you have no medical issues or impediments, feng shui can help.

Here are a few true-to-life cases where feng shui worked:

A couple living in a heavily beamed condo in Ortigas had no offspring for seven years. A slight feng shui relocation of their bed away from the overhead beam did the transformation of their lives. Since then, they are now happy parents to three kids.

A worried mother, who even gifted her married daughter with a condo in Pasig in vain hope for a grandchild, had their condo feng shuied for fertility purposes. It turned out the masters' room and other rooms were of useless feng shui for reproduction! Upon leaving, I whispered in confidence to the husband: "Make baby on the sofa!" He smiled. And three weeks later, the mother-in-law called me to thank me. The week prior, her daughter was positive, pregnant!

In Manila Polo Club Rotary meeting, during a new year feng shui talk, club president raised her problem that after seven years she still cannot conceive! Easy, I humored her, just make baby in this particular direction (related to her fertility direction in feng shui) and better still in good banter, try it at 1pm on a Sunday on top of a new and operating washing machine! With a butt joke that I sell washing machines on installments! While everybody laughed, she took me seriously!

Two months later, I received a text which my wife read first! It said, in all caps: CONGRATS, WE ARE HAVING A BABY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! My wife almost threw the phone at me and when i read it, I texted back: "Who U?"

It was San Lorenzo Makati Rotary Club president Shelley Lazaro. She followed my advice, she said; first time she used her credit card for a washing machine purchase! "Thank you so much for your advice!" she said in her text. Tongue in cheek I showed it to my wife, whew!

Three years later, the Rotary Club of Forbes Park had me as guest speaker in their Chinese New Year celebration. I was surprised to discover that Shelley was tasked as guest introducer for me! She related her feng shui experience with me. Afterwards one of the audience engaged me for her daughter-in-law in Singapore, who was childless for six years.

We did the fertility feng shui on the couple's condo in Singapore - via email, and YouTube. The couple followed the instructions diligently. Just yesterday the mother-in-law happily declared the news to me of her daughter-in-law's successful pregnancy the natural way, no in-vitro or other medical intervention at all!

My most unforgettable experience was with the son of a taipan. He initially wanted feng shui for his new house. But I told him it was best to make baby first, inasmuch as his wife was already complaining after seven years marriage without producing a taipan's grandchild, to the consternation of his family. Poor wifey! So I strongly adviced them to buy a new bed in the old bedroom of the husband's mother's home where they stayed temporarily so that they will have  a baby by the time new house is done. Afterall, what is a house if not for having a family?

The wife prevailed despite protestation of hubby, who didn't want to swipe his credit card. Lo, wifey became preggy with the new bed. Hubby and I became best of friends, and later in a drunk moment together with his wife asked me: "Feng shui! Why does changing bed work in making a baby?"

I answered, smiling cheekily, "Surely you will try to regain your hard-earned investment in new bed and use it as often as you can. Even making baby is a numbers game. The more times you do it, the better the chances!"

He shouted and hugged me, "Kampai! Bottoms up all the way!" By the way, the now happy taipan grandpa, having his first grandson, always gives the lucky baby ampaw or lucky money on the little one's birthday to the tune of a hundred million bucks! And I told the dad, "Your kid will be a billionaire at a certain age."

"And in the meantime, master," the dad kidded, "the father lives on its interests! Thank you!"

So there! Feng shui babies are super lucky! Ah, yes, like this dude named Max! He's my friend Josie's feng shui baby whereupon we revised their home kitchen in order to induce conception. Not immaculate but well cooked! Now a college freshman, Max couldn't believe when told that he was a feng shui baby. "Well," I told him, "it takes genius to accept the obvious."

Those with medical or age impediments shall not worry. Adopting a baby brings good luck, too - just as having one's own feng shui baby. For those still agonizing and dancing at Obando, try feng shui.

***

Welcome, Pope Francis, a wood rat!

BABY

BUT I

CHINESE NEW YEAR

FENG

HUBBY AND I

IN MANILA POLO CLUB ROTARY

NEW

POPE FRANCIS

ROTARY CLUB OF FORBES PARK

SHUI

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