The Big Bash Theory

In any case, the big party is a major undertaking. The host cannot do it alone. But it is his responsibility to make sure it is done right. Here is the game plan.

Set the date early and stick to it. Make sure the invitation includes all the necessary information, date, time, location and attire.

In planning this sort of event, it is important that the host set a budget and stick to it. Once you start ordering balloons and talking to the caterer, expenses can get out of hand in no time. If you cannot have the party of your dreams, scale back and adjust your dreams. Your guests will never know what you did not make happen. They will only remember what a great party you threw.

A good host also realizes that when he sets the hours for a party, he's implying certain things. If it begins at 5.30 p.m. it implies drinks and hors d'oeuvres. If the party begins at 6.30 or 7 p.m., the guests may expect to be served supper. A party that begins after 8 p.m. should offer desserts and perhaps light hors d'oeuvres.

If you are expecting to host a particularly raucous evening, be sure to alert the neighbors. And if dozens of people will be parking their cars along the street, let the neighbors know ahead of time.

No matter how huge the party, a perfect host must make an effort to greet each and every one of his guests. In a large crowd, he must make a special effort to ensure loners are not left out of the fun.

If the party is intended to honor the host's birthday and he does not want toasts or a round of "Happy birthday," his wisest course is to avoid having a birthday cake.

If a guest arrives with a bottle of wine, unsolicited, the host considers it a thank-you gift and feels no obligation to serve it. He simply accepts it and says, "You're very thoughtful. I'll be looking forward to enjoying this."

If a guest arrives with a casserole or dessert, the host finds some way to work it into the evening. Otherwise, he will be left with unexpected leftovers and a confused and insulted dinner guest.

A host never puts a wine bottle, white or red, directly on the table. A wine brick, for white wine or a wine coaster for red wine is ideal; but a saucer under any bottle of wine will suffice.

When seating a large party of people, or when the dinner party involves people who are not well acquainted with one another, the host may feel the need to use place cards to help with the remembering of names. Otherwise he simply tells his guests where he would like them to sit.

The toughest part of any large-scale event is making the guest list. No matter how generous the host intends to be, he can never invite everybody. It is helpful to set some ground rules. For example, the host may decide that he will only invite personal friends, not coworkers or business clients. Some bruised feelings are almost unavoidable, but at least the host can tell himself that his decisions were not entirely arbitrary.