MannersMatters

Dining in restaurant

Good manners are just as important in a restaurant or a club as they are at a dinner party at home. In fine dining restaurants there is a hierarchy of jobs. The "maître d'" or headwaiter is in charge of seating you at your table. The captain takes the order and oversees the service for your table. The "sommelier" or wine steward usually in uniform is a trained wine professional who specializes in all aspects of wine service as well as wine and food pairing. Then there is the waiter who will serve you and the busboy who assists him and keeps your water glass filled.

Seating.

When a couple seats in a restaurant, the woman should take the seat which has the best view of the restaurant. This is called the banquet seat. When a young couple invites a much older couple to dinner or visiting from out of town they should also be seated at the banquet seats. A husband should not sit opposite his wife as the strongest conversational lines spring back and forth across the table in this kind of dining, not side by side.

When two couples approach a restaurant booth, the women should slip first into the inside seats opposite each other and the men take the outside seats. The younger woman or the one with less important position should stand back and motion the older or more important woman into the inside seat. Likewise the hostess should usher her guests into the inside seats first then sits down.

The waiter.

In a good restaurant where the service is expected to be really good, one does not have to call the waiter. He is there hovering nearby but totally inconspicuous in his actions.

Since a number of restaurants do not fall into this category, you can summon your waiter by calling out in a pleasant voice, one that is not too loud. If you are a guest, you should not call the waiter but tell your host why you need him. Of course if it is a large party, by all means call the waiter, if your host is far away. Do not make a big thing out of it.

The Meal.

Many years ago, the woman always conveyed her order to her host, husband or escort. She was not supposed to speak directly to the waiter. Today, most women handle their own ordering. If you know your host has money to spare, you may not pay too much attention to the price, but if you are not sure, it is best to order with a little restraint. People who eat very little should order a la carte, so that no food is wasted.

If you are dining in a restaurant specializing in a foreign cuisine and do not understand the menu, have no hesitancy in asking the waiter to explain what the dishes are, what they are made of and how they are prepared.

After- dinner.

Demitases or regular-sized cups of coffee are usually ordered to be served after dessert although some people like their coffee with dessert. When this is served, the host may offer his guests a brandy or liquer if the evening is not too late.

Calling for the check.

A host at a large dinner should make arrangements with the head waiter to have the bill drawn up and ready to be signed with his credit card by the time the meal is drawing to an end. The host may excuse himself to accomplish this with the waiter or the captain.

If there is something wrong with the bill, the host should never spoil what has been a good meal and an enjoyable time by making a scene over the bill. He should confer with them afterward, when the guests have departed.