How to overcome insecurities

She wondered why she was not able to get the job, while an acquaintance who had the same educational qualification as hers got it; both of them just graduated from college. Her failure to get the job bothered her for a while. She realized later that she was not able to get the job because she lacks self-confidence.

Ever since  she was in her tender age, she had been insecure because she felt that she is not as intelligent and pretty as her sister. Her mother used to compare her with her younger sister and had high praises for her. Because of the favoritism that her mom showed to her younger sister, she grew up feeling insecure.

I told her the story of someone I know whose mom when she was growing up was always comparing her with her elder brother. In fact, her mom used to call her as a “child out of the blue.”  Her mother’s attitude hurt her deeply, but instead of dwelling on this, she took her mom’s way of treating her as a challenge. She concentrated in her studies and graduate cum laude in a university. Because of her academic performance, she is now manager of a bank.

The “ehowhealth website” commented, “Insecurity comes in different shapes and forms in our lives causing negative feelings to overshadow our true worth. Having loads of insecure feelings cause one to enjoy less of life and robs him or her of the chance to realize his full potential.”

An unknown writer exclaims, “Having a healthy self-esteem and a strong sense of worth are of utmost importance in attaining success and happiness in life." It is in this light, that writer Christopher M. Stigson shares the following tips on how to gain self-confidence:

•Don’t care what other people think. You have to accept the fact that you can’t change what anybody else thinks about you. Don’t care what other people think of you. You are not put on this planet to please all. It’s OK to fall. It’s OK to be different. It’s OK to feel what is right for you.

•Allow being judged. This is something that can be really hard, but in order to boost self-confidence to great heights, you must be able to do things your way and be OK on what other people disliking you to be. As long as you don’t step on other people’s toes.

•Have very strong beliefs  and solid ground in your confidence. You must have your beliefs first, otherwise, you will always have a doubt in your mind. People are experts in destroying  their own beliefs by having negative thoughts. Stop entertaining negative thoughts now.

•Be a winner. Even if somebody totally humiliates you, you are a winner. Why? Because everybody is good at something.  The reason you have low self-confidence is because you have been programmed to believe something. Maybe people around you have told you that you are a worthless individual or you can’t do anything right. Guess what, you are not. You are a winner. Because you know that if you set your mind to do something you can do it and achieve your goal.

•Have extreme determination and faith. Know that if you have set your mind to do something you will obtain it. It might not be outright, but you can do it. You are a winner and a child of the universe. You have to bear in mind that God do not make junks.

•Remember what Helen Keller said, “Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”

Email: kathey_oyson@yahoo.com.