My Thai

CEBU, Philippines - Every time my plane lands in Suvarnabhumi Airport, a jolt of excitement shudders through my system, and I can't wait to get off the plane and on to the chaotic streets of Bangkok.  The airport is hyper-efficient, able to handle millions of passengers annually, and it doesn't take long to get to the taxi queue outside.

It only takes anywhere from 250-300 baht to cab it into the city over the expressway, but those with tighter budgets can opt to either ask your cab driver to take side roads instead, or take the train.  The train will mean having to find a cab anyway once the fast train sighs into the terminal, and schlepping luggage down stairs and into car trunks, so a cab is almost always the better option.

What's marvelous about Bangkok is that it's so fantastically easy to find hotels within one's budget, and most, if not all of them, offer breakfast buffets with that Thai touch of flavors and pizzazz.  That spares more cash for budget-conscious travelers who want to focus on the best thing about Siam: shopping and food!

Plenty of glitzy malls dot the city, from high end luxe traps to quirky sidewalk stalls.  The Paragon, Gaysorn Plaza and the Emporium can quickly divest you of your shopping money, so try other malls with greater variety.  Central World Plaza is a good place to start, with the scale of its shops, boutiques, and department stores. It actually has two department stores anchoring it, Isetann and Zen, so choice is never a problem.

Try the supermarket at the top: grocery shopping for fresh fruits and delicacies has never been this enjoyable.  The wonderfully lit produce will make one want to sink his teeth into delectable cherries, bananas and longgans.  The food court is also first class, with tasty pad thai and zesty cilantro noodles at affordable prices.  Sticky rice and mango is a sure thing here, so that will make it even more difficult to haul your bottom away from the mall.  Just make sure you're not there during a rally by the sometimes violent protesters!

The Terminal 21 mall proved to be a popular choice amongst our group.  This newly opened mall is compact and, as its name suggests, designed Iike an airport terminal, with aviation gates denoting entrances.  Each flight of stairs leads to a floor themed for a different city, such as Tokyo, London, and San Francisco.  Iconic symbols like the London tube and even a Golden Gate bridge provide camera-worthy moments.  Inside, aside from the usual retail chains of H&M and ESP, can be found dozens of bargain stalls selling thrift market products.  Why go to an open air bazaar when this gives you air-conditioned comfort?  Floral shirts retail for around 300 baht - practically a steal!

The Chattuchak market is the highlight of any weekend trip to Siam.  There must be thousands of stalls in the maze of alleys that makes this market unique.  A bewildering multitude of items such as houseware, clothes, furniture, plants, pets, food, and even art are on display here. 

Open only on Saturday and Sunday, this market is a fount of creativity for weekend entrepreneurs, with imaginatively designed products ready to be spotted by the dedicated shopper.  I've found mango wood three-legged stools here that I just had to ship back home, beautiful artwork from struggling artists, and long-sleeved polos that can put any designer to shame (and this, retailing for only the Thai equivalent of P500).

If your legs start complaining, then drop by the massage stalls sprinkled throughout the area that offer foot massages at very reasonable prices.  There are also funky bars and coffee stalls where you can sit and observe the human traffic.  Want to try prawn paella while trance music booms and a couple of skimpily clad boys gyrate?

Check!  Chattuchak has even that. 

Word of warning, it will be hot and steaming, so make sure to hydrate frequently.  Try to come either early in the morning or late afternoon to escape the heat, but beware of coming too late, as stalls start closing as early as 5:30pm.  And bring loads of cash: hardly anybody accepts credit cards.

At night, some shopping plus spicy food and offbeat bars can be had in Asiatique, a riverfront mall that's accessible by ferry.  The boat ride is free to this evening's entertainment, and all one has to do is show up at the pier and hop on.  A magically lit ferris wheel glows in the distance, and the nearer your boat churns its way to the dock, the more exciting the pull of the place.  We exclaimed over Indian throw pillows, silver jewellry and hi-tech neon-lit tee-shirts before getting diverted by hand-carved furniture and Botero-like sculptures.   But beware: don't lose track of the time, as 11:15 marks the last of the ferry boats.  After this, you may have to queue up and haggle with the notorious cab drivers.

Tired of shopping and want to do some sightseeing?  The fertility shrine of the Goddess Tuptim is an off-beat choice for travelers seeking something unique.  Tucked away in a forgotten corner of the Swissotel (make your way to the back where the employee's entrance is located) the shrine is dedicated to women who want to get pregnant.  The amusing price of their prayer is, apparently, a mock phallus. Hundreds of phallic objects in all sizes, shapes and colors are placed here, as devotional offerings to this magical goddess.  The shrine will take all of ten minutes, so plotting it into your itinerary won't be too time consuming.

What might occupy more of your time would be the Bangkok Arts and Culture Center.  Take the Skytrain to the last stop at National Stadium, and once you disembark, look for the signs: there's a connection into the museum right from the train station.  Inside, the spiral staircase reminiscent of the Guggenheim leads viewers deeper into experiencing a variety of visual artists, both local and international. The best part of this side trip is that the museum is totally free.

That gives you some spare cash for the other shops in the BACC.  A variety of galleries and art-themed cafes offer interesting experiences, and art books and photographs can give you more custome-made souvenirs.  For 400 baht, you can even have sketch artists quickly render your caricature twin.

Other art centers might be the Galleria in Silom, where the fourth and fifth floors host galleries that showcase outstanding Thai artists.  One serendipitous occasion let us discover Krissandak, who uses wood panels as his material of choice and almost cartoon-like female subjects with fiendish nails as his dominant theme.  Trussed-up male figures and native Thai elements like shrines are mixed helter skelter with pop action heroes like Aquaman and Robin.  Bizarre, but totally captivating.

Bangkok might a bewildering bedlam, but if you want a memory of a lifetime, then you bet your bottom baht this is the place to go.