The Gift of Gab

Over a decade ago, a trusted world expert in future trends had predicted that  “the most important skill to have in the 21st century is the ability to tell stories  well.” The prediction was particularly addressed to commercial businesses, to alert them of the increasing need to properly communicate the story of their products to their customers. It was observed that heightened competition was going to raise market noise to a deafening level.

The forecast was a wakeup call for the general public, as well.

Come to think of it: Don’t we all have something to sell? Organizations have advocacies that they need to sell to both their sponsors and the community. A student missing a deadline in class has a reason for his lapse, which he has to sell to his teacher. A mother has to sell to her little boy the promise of a strong and healthy body contained in the vitamin tablets she wants him to take.

Thus, we all need to tell our stories well. But what stories do we often hear nowadays? Our celebrities and other public personalities utter overused clichés that don’t necessarily make their points, a bad practice that quickly finds its way down to the level of ordinary people.

Similar crap is present in the communication exchanges we find in cyberspace. My former high school teacher feels like a failure, seeing all the rambling nonsense posted in the social media nowadays. She does not even mention our experience in the last elections, where some candidates simply brought entertainers to political rallies because they did not know how to address a crowd; once they talked, they couldn’t stop, pointlessly going round and round in circles.

Incidentally, the problem is not at all anything new. Ages ago, Plato said: “The wise speak because they have something to say; fools speak because they have to say something.” The only sad thing is that the problem persists to this day, despite the great advancements in almost all areas of the human experience.

Our school system has been trying to deal with it. We have Grammar and Composition classes from grade school through college. Perhaps students think it’s not important; perhaps they’re only after the academic credits, not the actual learning.

To be able to speak in a coherent, appealing way is of great value for everyone. The benefits are numerous. Many people have risen from humble beginnings to eminence because of their speaking ability. A more common and immediate reward is the good feeling that comes from being able to win people – their trust, sympathy or admiration – with only words as your tool.

Indeed, good talk is a potent tool for conquest – not only of others but, most of all, of oneself. Little Aaron is living proof. A simple experiment that his mother, Liza, and I thought of last summer has proven very helpful to the once withdrawn, sulking seven-year-old.

Liza, who was training with me as an actress, worried because the boy didn’t have friends. His teacher reported that he was not very participative in class. At home he stayed in his room all day, either playing computer games or watching videos.

As school was closing then, Liza and I decided to include Aaron in the acting exercises we were doing. We hoped the activities would crack the boy’s shell somehow and make him want to reach out to the world outside. I extended our one-on-one sessions in self-talk, because a child psychologist once told me it would help put the child’s inner world in good order and promotes self-confidence in the child.

True enough, before summer ended Aaron was already raring to go back to school so he could be with his “friends” again. His tantrums significantly decreased, as he began to learn how to neatly sort out his thoughts and emotions, a common issue with kids his age. His self-confidence also improved; he was now spending more time talking to his yaya (babysitter) and his mother, whenever she’s around.

The boy still has a long way to go, for sure. He needs to build up his vocabulary, work on his observation and description skills as well. But at least he’s been initiated.

I don’t think the case of my dear Aaron is either unique or isolated. We can probably train any child – or, for that matter, anyone – to vent out inner heaviness by talking about it, whether alone by himself or before a trusted someone. The ability to properly express our thoughts and feelings to others can also make us know ourselves better.

There are those born with the gift of gab. These gifted speakers captivate us with their words and speaking style. But these lucky ones don’t have the monopoly of the talent. The gift of gab is a gift the rest of us can give ourselves – with due effort, of course.

We’ve been taught proper speaking techniques in English class at school. We only need to apply those in our everyday speech, whatever the language we choose; the principles are the same. It certainly takes long, patient practice — but it’s worth doing. (E-MAIL: [email protected])