Tell your Teen what you xxpect

CEBU, Philippines - It’s important that your teen knows what you expect. Make it clear that you do not want any marijuana or any illicit drug use in your house. Tell your teen that there will be consequences for using drugs. As your teen enters middle school and then high school, your child will be at greater risk of using marijuana and alcohol if you have not made your expectations clear. Teens need to know where you stand. Here are some clear ways you can tell your teens what you expect:

“I’ve been thinking lately that I’ve never actually told you this:

I don’t want you using marijuana, alcohol, tobacco or any drug.”

“The rule in our house is that nobody uses drugs.”

Set Rules

Even though your teens are getting older and spending more time without you, it’s more important than ever to set rules and expectations. Setting a firm rule of no marijuana or other drug use will help your teen resist pressures to use drugs.

When Your Teen Breaks the Rules

Parents need to enforce rules consistently and fairly. When rules are broken, some possible consequences could include: restricting Internet use and television, suspending outside activities, such as going to the mall or movies, or disallowing telephone calls.

Risky Situations

Let your teens know that you do not want them in risky situations. Tell them:

“I don’t want you riding in a car with a driver who’s been using marijuana or who’s been drinking.”“It’s my job as a parent to keep you safe, so I’m going to ask you questions about who you’re with and what you are doing.”

Giving advice on avoiding risky situations

Here are some lines you can give your teens to help them stay away from risky situations:

“I like you, but I don’t like drugs.”

“My dad (or mom, grandmother, etc.) would ground me if he (or she) knew I was around marijuana.”

“No, thanks. It’s not for me.”

“I don’t do drugs. I could get kicked off the team if anyone found out.”

Beware of messages that encourage drug use

Many parents are concerned about messages on television, in movies and music that encourage or trivialize drug use and that fail to show the harm of using drugs. You can set rules about what your teens watch on television, in the movies they see or the songs they listen to. If you have a computer at home connected to the Internet, you should let your children know that you are in charge of their time online. Teens cannot only find Web sites that promote drugs, but they can actually buy drugs over  the internet.

Stay involved in your Teen’s life

Experts say that to create an environment that helps keep your kids away from marijuana and other drugs, you should:

• Get involved in your kids’ lives.

• Know what your children are doing — their activities and how they spend their time.

• Know who your teen’s friends are.

• Check in with the parents who are hosting the party your teen will be attending.

• Praise and reward good behavior.

Research shows that kids who are not regularly monitored by their parents are four times more likely to use drugs. Before going out, have them tell you WHO they are going to be spending time with, WHAT they will be doing, WHEN or what time they will be at their expected destination and finally, exactly WHERE they are going to be. Every once in a while, check on your teens to see if they’re where they said they would be. It’s not pestering, it’s parenting.

Lots of teens get in trouble with marijuana, other illicit drugs, or alcohol right after school, from 3 to 6 p.m. Try to be with your teens then, but if you can’t, make sure your child is doing something positive with a trusted adult around: sports, jobs, clubs, after-school programs or faith-based groups. If your teens have to be at home, make sure they are doing homework or chores and not hanging out unsupervised with friends. Remember how important you are in keeping your teens away from marijuana and other drugs.

Catching your child with drugs

If you’ve caught your child using drugs or “holding” them for a friend, wait until you are calm to talk to your teen. Then tell your teen it’s okay to be honest with you, that you want to know the truth. The following phrases can get good communication going:

“I’m really disappointed. You know I don’t approve of drug use.

I don’t approve of your using marijuana, alcohol or other drugs.”

Your child admits to having tried drugs

The idea is to reinforce the rules about marijuana and other drug use while keeping the lines of communication open.

“I’m glad you told me, but let me remind you that drugs get in the way of your being healthy and happy. You can lose your driver’s license. You can get kicked off the team. You can fail at school.”

If your child has admitted to using drugs recently, you might want to ask your doctor or an addictions expert for help.

Your Child Says,

“Everyone Is Doing It.”

You say, “I’m not interested in what other kids are doing. I know I don’t want you using marijuana or other drugs.”

Your Teen’s Friend or Parent Tried Drugs

You can say, “I don’t want you hanging out with kids who smoke marijuana or drink alcohol. You know that when you’re around people who use drugs, I’m afraid they’ll try to pressure you to use drugs.”

If your Teen asks, “Did you ever do drugs?”

It’s important to be honest, but you don’t need to include too many details. If you did use drugs, you can say, “When I was young I smoked marijuana because some of my friends did. I thought I needed to in order to fit in. If I’d known then about  the consequences, I never would have tried marijuana, and I’ll do everything I can to help keep you away from it.”

“After almost 15 years of drug abuse and another fifteen years of drug addiction, there have been so many questions about the effect of drug abuse on a person. As I was growing up my parents would tell me not to take drugs because it was bad for me. But when I would ask why, they could not be specific. When I would press them further as to why it was bad for me, they would reply that it was just bad for me and not to take it. So, when I tried marijuana for the first time and I felt good, I thought that my parents had lied to me because I was not aware of the effects of its continued use. Then, some people will claim their drug use will not harm them.  I used to say “It’s just marijuana, it’s harmless!” While others say that it is dangerous to your health. Some even say that the drugs they use have medicinal value.  Such as: “It keeps me calm and helps me control my temper!”  Let’s get one thing clear from the start”. Any mood-altering or mind changing chemical inclusive of alcohol and nicotine, is a drug. Use of any drug, for purposes other than those, for which it is normally intended, or in a manner or in quantities other than directed by a doctor, is drug abuse. Drug dependence (addiction) is the obsession with thinking about using drugs and the compulsion to continue taking drugs, once the using has started, despite adverse consequences in one’s life for doing so.  Drug abuse and dependence occurs with both legal prescription and non-prescription medications as well as illegal substances.  Drug abuse can lead to drug dependence (addiction). Drug addicts are not bad people, they are sick with the disease of addiction whose behaviors had been altered for the worse because the addiction makes them feel like they cannot live and continue living without the use of drugs.

If you suspect your teen is using drugs, take action. Ask your child directly. Let your teen know you want him or her to be honest with you. If you need help, or more information please contact us at 032-2315229 or 032-2389143.