Wonderful Letters

One of the greatest rewards in the life of an author is receiving notes and letters about her books/columns.

I was so thrilled when I got a few in response to my column last week, "Have You Been Spanked Yet?" From these letters I have learned new issues and many lessons.

Let me share with you three of them. Names have been changed to protect their privacy.

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"I wish I had been punished-at least once," Jimmy wrote. Then he told the story of his growing-up years.

"When I was still in high school, my father left us. Not long after, my mom left for a good job in the US, and I was left alone in the care of a yaya. I could do anything I pleased, and could go around anywhere anytime."

* * *

So sometimes, when friends asked Jimmy out, he would lie, "Let me ask my parents first. They are very strict you know."

"I longed for discipline or some kind of punishment from my parents-who were both beyond reach. I sort of missed being told what not to do."

Jimmy grew up to be a responsible, successful businessman, telling his staff what to do and what not to do.

* * *

"There is an expiration date for blaming parents for the bad things that happen to us," wrote Chay. "At a certain point, everything is about making our own choices."

She explains that some people continue to blame their parents for their sad life. "My neighbor, for instance," Chay wrote. "He is very smart, but he refuses to get a job; he never earned a living and never smiled."

Now in his 50's, he tells people that he is "good for nothing" because his parents abused him when he was growing up.

Huh?! He had all the chances to get a job, earn a living, and smile-if only he exerted some effort.

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The third letter came from abroad. Darwin wrote that he was punished physically when he was young-for every mistake he made.

"I was a sensitive child and the beatings left their mark on my soul, for years. I grew up lacking in self-esteem and feeling helpless. I knew I had talents because people recognized them."

As a young man, he passed up so many opportunities because he thought he couldn't tackle them. But after many years in another land, he understood that his parents learned their style of disciplining from their own parents, and stopped blaming them.

Darwin is now a high-ranking executive in a company and with a child of his own. He decided to be more liberal in disciplining his son-who is outstanding in every way. He ends his letter with, "Thanks for letting me cleanse my soul to you."

* * *

Jimmy, Chay, and Darwin, it is I who have been greatly blessed through your letters.

Like you, I wish every child will realize that God gives us parents-who vary in their styles of discipline-to mold us into the good person we could become. The sooner we know this, the faster we can make our own lives happier.

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Please visit my website: http://leavesofgrace.blogspot.com or email me at: [email protected]