Conquering Anger

CEBU, Philippines - We always believe that anger is a natural emotion that we must express, however, Cebuano businessperson, author, and motivational speaker, June Luna, believes otherwise.

In his recent talk on Anger Management at the Brahma Kumaris Meditation Center (www.facebook.com/bkcebu), Luna shared his experience with anger – how he developed it early in life and how he was eventually able to conquer it.

"I have been an angry person since childhood and I realized that I cannot be angry for the rest of my life.... Anger did not give me a very good experience," Luna confessed.

Reasons for anger

He pointed out several reasons why we get angry, foremost of which is ego, which may come in the form of either superiority or inferiority complex.

"Anger is an expression of the ego in its highest stage of self-centeredness," he said. "It is anchored on the firm belief that one is fundamentally better than the other."

He said that when we feel threatened by someone whom we feel to be more inferior to us, this would manifest in the form of anger. The same also holds true when we feel inferior. In order to disguise our feelings of inferiority, we tend to raise our voice and become so angry just so the other would concede.

Some of the other reasons of anger would include failed expectations of others, especially when we want them to change based on our perception on what is ideal; when we feel empty or when we fear that we would lose something or someone, which would come in the form of a loved one, possession, or profession; or as a leverage, in order to feel vindicated from an injustice against your person.

Anger as a challenge

One interesting point that Luna raised was that many people make anger their driving force to success. They want to prove someone that they are better than what these people expect of them, as such they continuously work hard in order to go beyond what is expected.

Success would indeed come to these persons, but as Luna pointed out, "What good is it to be materially successful and yet to be driven by angry feelings just to get your goals?"

Luna said: "This superficial notion of success will only leave you feeling a deep emptiness inside."

Anger's many faces

Anger has many forms, foremost of which is its gross form that entails shouting and other violent behavior. This is a very obvious form of anger as it is expressed in several ways, although there are commonalities in its expression, and always, the person who experiences this would feel that surge of negative energy from his core up to the top of his head. That is the reason why angry cartoon characters are portrayed as an exploding pot, a hot head. Physiologically, he would experience hot flushes as blood surges to the head. It is a reaction readying the person to fight.

This, however, is not the only face of anger.

Anger also has many subtle faces that we don't usually associate with it. But if we look at it, the origin of these emotions is this feeling of anger towards a person, an event, or even towards the self.

Luna enumerated some of them and included worry, suspicion, gossip, spite, hatred, anxiety, depression, irritation, resentment, discontent, when we feel insulted, jealousy, and pity.

He said that when we entertain these subtle forms of anger for seven days, it would be very likely that on the eighth day, we would explode and this would manifest in a more gross form of anger.

Ridding of anger

So, how do we get rid of anger?

Luna has these five suggestions:

Awareness. Be aware of your true self that is soul, full of virtues and devoid of negative energies. He said that you must also be aware that "the person whom you are angry with... is also a soul." Realizing this, we must also accept that in spirit we are all "brothers, sisters, and children of the One Parent, God." Through this realization, we would come to accept that whatever disappointment or whatever triggered you to become angry with that person, is just that, a trigger that is not worth entertaining, because who could remain angry with his brother or sister?

“Faith in time. "Have the firm faith that whatever has happened to you in the past, whatever is happening to you now, and whatever is to happen in your life in the future, was good, is good and will always be beneficial," he said. That is why, for this reason, there is simply no reason to fret over the inconvenience that we may be suffering presently, because after all, the present is a present, a gift, from God, which is only meant to be good. All you need to do now is to seek the benefit that you can get from the current situation. ““Enjoy the present. "Learn from the past, enjoy the present, and prepare for the future.  Take full benefit from all experiences in each and every stage of your life," Luna said, pointing out that the future is not for us to take possession of because it does not belong to us. Nor should we keep holding on to the past, because that too no longer belongs to us. Instead, we should start enjoying and taking full advantage of our present, doing our best to make the most of it.““Past is history. "The past belongs to history and so we can remove it from our memory," he said, however this does not mean that the past no longer has any use. Instead Luna said, that we should "Learn the lesson from it, or better, appreciate the significance of the experience."“

Lastly, be soul conscious. Body consciousness breeds ego, which is the "center and the root cause of anger," the sources of which are "our acquired qualities as humans and not our original and natural qualities as spiritual beings." When we keep on identifying with our bodies and not the soul that we are, then ego is just around the corner.

Soul consciousness and meditation

Soul consciousness can be developed through meditation. One such form of meditation, of which Luna subscribes to, is raja yoga meditation as taught by the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University. In Cebu, the Brahma Kumaris Meditation Center in Forest Hills, Banawa offers free raja yoga meditation course. For more information, contact the center at 254-5975.

Unless we stop believing that anger is a natural emotion that we must encourage, we would never fully rid ourselves of this ugly vice and take control of our emotions. It is about time for us to change this, after all, whatever it is that is bad for our body is never natural, so why would anger be natural?

Visit the author's blog at http://tribong-upos.xanga.com, or follow him on Twitter: @tribong_upos. June Luna is the president and CEO of Prosel Pharma, the makers of the Pred line of corticosteroids. His book, Triunephant, is available on Amazon.com. He maintains a website at juneluna.com.ph.