CEBU, Philippines - My one way of expressing my feelings to the passion I have for the longest time.
I have revealed myself to a bunch of colleagues but being with this group for three years is most cherished. Singing has been a part of me since I was a child. I had discovered my own potential way back fourth-grade where I bagged 1st place in an inter-school competition. Afterwhich, I said to myself singing would be my life. Years passed and my passion to singing strengthened. At 17, I entered officially the music industry as a female vocalist of a band in Cebu. I was new and oblivious to what's the real score of being a performer. I was with my first group for a year when I accepted the fact that the other members were not satisfied with me as a newbee. So, I had my first lesson,ACCEPTANCE.
My second group I consider as my "big break band" because I named the band myself. But sad to say, since I was still 18 at that time and a student, my band leader junked me because they wanted a full-pledged singer for the group with a serious commitment. So, my second lesson was COMMITMENT. After another heartbreak I decided not to fully engaged myself with bands. I came to the reality that I could never be in a band for long. I considered myself as a free-lancer singer. I had been singing with different bands but not as a full vocalist, but as a session vocalist. I got involved with three bands in almost a year. Year 2008, I got acquainted with a group of males with different characters, with different approaches and different talents. This was the year that I met another family in my life. This group is amazing when it comes to everything! My first year with them was tough, I had to catch up with the songs in their repertoire because I was the only new member. We captivated several bars with our tandem and then our chemistry boomed….we had gigs four times a week for almost five months. But I got pregnant, so I had to stop for months and got back after I gave birth. I was still ACCEPTED and WANTED by the group. I felt so blessed having them in my life, despite the disappointment I gave them. Year 2009 came and we reached our first anniversary. We had a stronger bond, stronger passion and stronger affection for each other. Year 2010 brought us a lot of ups and downs which made us steadfast, never let go,believing that we could fulfill all of our dreams and reach our goal. Year 2011 was the make or break year for the band and for me. I was so happy and excited that my band was going international.
By April, we had been advised to get ready with all the things needed for a contract outside the country. The band was quite excited for our first break outside Philippines and worried for the preparations and demands of such a job. Pressure was on and the fire to reach the goal was burning strong, but we were disappointed when we found out that we won't be able to make it for a June contract.
After the said downfall, everybody was still hopeful for another chance. Then, the August contract was on and all of us were excited again. And again, another disappointment. There was a rumored November contract for us the group was not excited anymore. I, myself was not anymore interested of any contract outside the country. I had my new job where I was very much happy and contented. I was hesitant to let go of the job for another false-alarm contract. I longed to be with them in a gig outside the Philippines, but I could not wait anymore because I have a child to raise. I don't want to let go of the band. I just stay with them as me, as Sheena. But I have enough of being the vocalist of the band, I love singing but it can't make me go further. I have been so eager to have a break in the music industry but I have failed.
The lesson is ENOUGH is ENOUGH. I can never force something not really meant for me. But I know, the band, my band, will not fail. They will go far and reach their dreams even without me. I want to see them succeed in all their performances in the future. I know next year is really for them because next year I won't be with them. Sad but true. I love you guys and will always be one with you in the band. I will miss all our moments in our practices, our gigs,our petty fights, our hurtful teasings, our funny mistakes, our bullying and jokes. Thank you for having me and I hope I will always be part of you.