For the family of the drug addict!

CEBU, Philippines -  Chemical dependency affects a person’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. It can be just as devastating to family. Since our ability to have a loving relationship is based on our emotions and our spirit, the family is affected significantly. Family members may be worn out, finding it difficult to love or care at all, especially for the alcoholic/addict. After all, he or she has not been acting very loveable or very caring, and has certainly not seemed to love or care for te family. It may even seem that the alcoholic / addict has purposefully set out to do things just to hurt you.

How is all this suddenly supposed to change just because of treatment?

There is no instant answer, of course. But there is a path to regaining love & friendship. It involves understanding and forgiveness, but before that comes knowledge: knowledge about chemical dependency.

First and foremost family members need to learn about chemical dependency. It is also referred to as alcoholism, substance abuse, drug dependency and drug addiction. To better help you understand chemical dependency here are some are some basic beliefs about chemical dependency.

1. Drug/Chemicals are more powerful than willpower to the alcoholic/addict. They cannot be assumed to be less strong, intelligent, or good than anyone else. It is just that, for unknown reasons, chemicals are stronger.

2. For the chemical dependent, life becomes unmanageable as a result of the power chemicals have over him or her. The consequences span every area of life.

3. Drug addiction does not just appear magically. It goes, through a process that starts from Experimental Use (Curiosity/Experimentation/Peer Pressure); then it moves on to Social Use (parties, anniversaries, special events); then it moves into Habitual Use (here a pattern of use is developed such as every weekend, etc.); then into Abuse wherein the drug user starts to develop problems with Relationships, Work/School. Health, Financial, and Legal matters in ones life and the person continues to use drugs despite having these problems because of their drug use; and finally Drug Addiction wherein the persons attention is where to get and use drugs, and then get and use more all day long and the problems mentioned in the abuse stage worsen.

4. The alcoholic / addict cannot recognize what is going on because of a phenomenon called, denial, so the process continues. (ex. I cant be an addict, I have a job, and anyways addicts are thin and sickly looking and I look very presentable. Etc)

5. Recovery cannot begin until the person sobers up, cleans up (alcohol & drug free), sees what is going on and learns tools for recovery. Then he or she can choose whether to get well or not. Please remember that abstinence is not recovery. It is simply the first step of the recovery process. Your sober child/parent/spouse/partner is not recovered, only able to continue choosing a recovery path, one day at a time.

6. If chemical dependency has destroyed a close relationship between the addict and his/her family member, resist the impulse to take it personally. He/She did not mean to do anything to you by becoming an alcoholic or addict; your pain is a side affect of their disease, the disease which has been controlling their life.

7. People don’t usually become addicted to hurt you. In fact, they don’t set out to become addicted at all. No addict has ever said that it was their lifelong dream to become an addict. We don’t know why some people can use chemicals without problems and others cannot. It seems no one is responsible for chemical dependency striking one person and not another, not even you. And only one person is ultimately responsible for recovery from this disease – the alcoholic / addict. Just as they did not become dependent for your, “benefit,” neither can he or she get well to please you. Recovery depends on changing one’s life, a very personal commitment.

The World Health Organization has said that Drug Addiction is a disease that not only affects the person afflicted with the disease, but it also affects the people in his/her life. Hopefully with the 6 points we have mentioned in this article we have been able to give you the base of understanding Chemical Dependency. For more information please feel free to contact us anytime at 032-2389143 or 032-2315229. (FREEMAN)