OFW Parents and their Relationship with their Children

CEBU, Philippines - “My mother was never there in almost all important events of my life. She was not able to attend my birthdays, graduations, awarding ceremonies, and holiday seasons.I never expected anything from her,” said Aljen Ray Araneta, 18, whose mother is working in the USA.

Araneta, never expected anything from his mother since she left him when he was eight.

While Aranetahas already accepted the absence of his mother in his life, Christian Ray Amaneo, 19, still feels sad when his father, a seafarer, could not attend important occasions like his birthday.

“Dad was not able to attend my birthday last year. I felt sad and I miss him but I understand that his work requires him to be away from home,” saidAmaneo.

For two years now, Amaneois learning to adjust on his father’s work; his father comes back to the Philippines every six months.

Araneta and Amaneo are examples of the many teenagers today who lack the guidance of a parent while growing up.

More than 18.8 million Filipinos were recorded to have worked abroad in 2010, according to the Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA).

“When someone close to you leaves for some time, this could really change a relationship between the two of you”, said Daisy Romualdo, a psychology graduate who is now working as a psychometrician.

One change, she said, is that children grow and learn to control and conceal feelings from the people surrounding them.

Relationships are built by two or more people by spending quality time together and sharing memorable experiences.

“Working away from home, I try my best to be able to connect with my children through whatever means like Skype,” said Mario Imbong, a seafarer with five children.

Many parents employed abroad try their best to connect with their children. These efforts seem to pay off, such as the case of Amaneo who is now closer to his father after he went abroad.

“My dad and I became closer when he started to work abroad because I learned to express my feelings and share my problems with him,” he said.

To some parents, their efforts may not have met yet the needs of their children.

“To be honest, I never really missed my mom ever since she left, maybe because she has not been with me for half of my life. I mean I do love her but I don’t miss her,” said Araneta who rarely talks with his mother.

Romualdo expressed her sadness when she encounters cases like Araneta’s.

“It is disheartening to know that in some cases, relationshipsworsen to a degree that they would not even care for the other person,” Romualdo said.

She pointed out that “the family is considered to be the most significant relationship that a person can have in his life and that it is the cradle of life where our individuality as a person takes root.”

In the end, a parent’s unconditional love and a child’s whole hearted appreciation for his parentsare the keys for a fruitful family, regardless of how many miles away they are from one another, Imbong said.