The Land of Soymilk and Money

CEBU, Philippines - I did not want to move to the U.S. I had other plans. But I gave in and decided to try it for a while, at least to fulfill my two and a half-year contract as a Physical Therapist. Now, I’ve been living in New Jersey for almost five years. I still have other plans, but I’ve realized that there are advantages to having moved here, and I’m grateful for them. One of which is freedom. I can do whatever I want! My parents are no longer around to moderate my activities. If I want to eat ice cream for breakfast, I could. I never did, but the point is, I could.

I did not run amok like some of my peers who also gained the same freedom. I never did feel caged at my parent’s house, so I did not feel the urge to rebel. But I certainly obeyed my heart’s desires. I traveled, watched Broadway shows, and took up new hobbies. I went wherever I liked and stayed up as late as I wanted. I was my own person for the first time. I relied on myself.

I quickly discovered the flipside of this freedom.  I was forced to do things for myself which I didn’t do before. When it was time for me to acquire a car, which I needed for work, I had to do a lot of research. I decided to lease a car, so I learned about APR financing, residual value, and money factor, staring at the computer screen until I was cross-eyed. It was particularly painful for me because I hated anything to do with business. But in the end, I made an informed decision and felt confident about it.

Another thing I’ve had to learn was to cook. Since nobody was going to cook for me, I had to do it myself. In the Philippines, the only things I knew how to make were instant noodles, boiled eggs, and corned beef. That was the extent of my culinary skills. It took approximately two days for me to get tired of this selection, so I started experimenting. That’s what cooking is to me: experimenting. If one thing doesn’t work, then you have to modify. I learned how to make arroz caldo, pasta with meat sauce, baked salmon. I realized it wasn’t that hard. Then I became bolder and learned how to make kare-kare, which is now one of my favorite dishes. Well, I do get a big help from Mama Sita, the packaged stew base mix, complete with instructions that would turn the most helpless person into a cook.

When I first started working here, I shared an apartment with my cousin. Together we practiced being grown-ups. We went to work, cleaned the apartment, went grocery shopping, paid our bills, cooked meals together. There were times when we were too lazy to cook dinner, too, and we would look at each other and ask, “Cereal or chicharon?”

Aside from cooking, I also learned how to clean the toilet, shovel snow, drive in the scary highways, make medical appointments and ride a subway in New York City. Being away from home enabled me to see and do things that I couldn’t before. 

I was forced to become assertive, since no one else was going to speak up for me or to get me what I wanted. In the Philippines I had my parents, my older brother, and an array of relatives who could represent me. But I could not hide behind anyone’s shadow now.  It is common for Filipinos to be shy and docile, but in America this is not to our benefit. “Don’t let anyone step all over you,” advised my older Caucasian co-workers. I’m trying not to let them. I’m still a far cry from my co-worker who can yell in a department store, “I want to speak to the manager!” But I refuse to be a doormat, either.

Being alone made me wise up and make better decisions, particularly about my health. Maybe it’s the health obsession in America. Maybe I’m just getting old, but I have become nicer to my body. In the Philippines, I ate a lot of fried food and fast food. Not surprisingly, my cholesterol was high. And my only exercise was the walking I had to do while commuting back and forth to school. In America I began to eat healthier and to exercise. I have eaten more fruits and vegetables, and drank soymilk instead of regular milk. The vanilla-flavored soymilk does not taste bad, either.

I have also learned how to handle money. When I was in school, my parents gave me more than enough for my allowance, yet I was not able to save much. I was careless with that money. But now that I’m working and paying my own bills, I understand the value of earning money. I am much more conscientious with spending it, because I worked hard for it.  

Being independent is a rewarding experience. And being self-sufficient is one of the most invaluable benefits of being away from home.