Commitment

I do not have the statistics to prove it, but I am willing to bet that if you are somewhere between the ages of 25 and 35, you have had more than one serious relationship, have changed jobs or careers at least twice, have seriously considered living somewhere other than where you are, and have asked yourself on more than one occasion, what the meaning of your life is. And you would know as you look at the people around you, you are not alone in this. And that thought alone comforts you. But at the same time you think, couldn’t someone just make it all easier for you and point out the way you’re supposed to go. Because then you wouldn’t have to keep checking and double-checking your choices, and you would know what it is that you are meant for.

We are a generation, you see, that has too many choices. When we went to college, the world suddenly opened up before us with its seemingly endless possibilities. And then we discovered that it was okay if we couldn’t make up our minds yet. And that we were allowed a time of self-discovery that our parents were not given the luxury. And that we didn’t have to settle down too early. In fact, we were told, that we ought never to “settle” for just a paycheck or just a marriage or anything less than we deserved. And while that was good, we also had our price to pay. And that price, I believe, was the loss of the value of commitment.

We are a generation that hops from one job to the next, that moves on from one relationship to the next, from one identity to the next. We are always looking for the next big thing, the next big adventure we are sure that is just beyond the horizon, just beyond our grasp. And it takes us a while to realize that what makes our lives meaningful are the commitments we make and the obligations we have. Contrary to what the world teaches, it is our rootedness that makes us completely free.

When I went to World Youth Day last year, Cardinal Pell delivered a beautiful homily that at the time I heard it, I believed he was speaking directly to me. He said: “Don’t spend your life sitting on the fence, keeping your options open, because only commitments bring fulfillment. Happiness comes from meeting our obligations, doing our duty, especially in small matters and regularly, so we can rise to meet the harder challenges.” What he said was so simple and yet it was so incredibly profound.

My soul has known all along what my mind was too busy to comprehend—that it is our commitments that make us who we are. We are not defined by what we do or what we own or what we’ve achieved. We are defined by what we are committed to. And most people, the happier ones, at least, are the ones who commit themselves not to somethingbut to somebody. , ultimately, we are called to commit ourselves to the One Person who put the desire for companionship and the longing for love into our hearts in the first place. The One Person who committed Himself to us long before the world began and who continues to wait for our commitment so He can fill the emptiness of our hearts with great love.