Rearranging the puzzle

When news of a parent’s remarriage comes, the son or daughter could feel like a shattered puzzle, with parts scattered about, uncertain if the whole could be completed again. With the help of accepting friends, supportive family members, and a strong sense of self, he can overcome the confusion and resentment. And the puzzle that is family would be again, intact, albeit with a new link.

What will other people think?

Breaking the news of a parent’s remarriage to peers could be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if none of them have dealt with the same situation. This kind of insecurity could stem from the individual’s own refusal to accept the marriage. Once he/she has completely accepted the marriage, there would be no difficulty for real friends to acknowledge what their peer is going through.

Supporting

Having siblings, especially being the eldest, could be a challenge for an individual to get through negative feelings. Younger children have more difficulty understanding such situations, and attempts to explain could turn out to be more confusing in the end. Encouraging siblings to express emotions in ways they feel are appropriate are helpful and are less stressful than justifying the situation in terms they might not understand.

Helping Yourself

You shouldn’t blame yourself for your parent’s decision to remarry. Thinking that “you weren’t enough” will only cause bitterness. It will push you further from completely falling in love and getting into a marriage. Don’t wallow or lock yourself up in your room! Surround yourself with people who care about you.

Dealing with Mom/Dad

Isolating yourself from your remarrying parent is, by no means, a good idea. Just because there is a new addition to your parent’s life does not mean there is no room for you in it. Watch movies, shop, cook with your parent. Even talking could renew that bond. She could be carrying a new name, or he could be holding another woman’s hand, but they’re still your parents.

Remember that dealing with a parent’s decision to remarry requires respect, acceptance, and a lot of patience. It does not happen overnight, but with a sincere and conscious effort, it surely will.