Keeping your kids drug-free!

Part 2 of 3 parts

2. Everyday parenting actions such as establishing clear rules and consequences, praising and rewarding desirable behavior and staying involved in the kids’ daily lives help prevent drug use.

Make clear rules and discuss the consequences of breaking the rules. When it comes to drugs and alcohol, what will the punishment be and how will it be carried out? Research shows that young people are less likely to use tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs if their parents set clear rules about not doing so. If parents have not previously established rules around more basic activities of daily living, however, they will have little chance of getting their children to obey a rule about not using marijuana, tobacco, or other drugs. Tell them very clearly that you don’t want them using substancces – no tobacco, no alchohol, no marijuana, no ecstasy. No methamphetamins, or no inhalants.  Setting a firm rule of no drug use will help your child navigate peer and other pressure to use drugs.Here are some rule making tips:
-  Set clear rules and discuss in advance the consequences of breaking them.
-  Don’t make empty threats or let the rule-breaker off the hook.
-  Don’t impose harsh or unexpected new punishments.
-  The rules must be consistently enforced; every time a child breaks the rules the parent should enforce a punishment.
-  Punishments should involve mild, not severe, negative consequences. Overly severe punishments serve to undermine the quality of the parent-child relationship.
-  Set a curfew. And enforce it strictly.
-  Be prepared to negotiate for special occasions.
-  Have kids check in at regular times when they’re away from home or school.
-  Give them a phone card, change or even a pager with clear rules for using it. (“When I beep you, I expect a call back within 15 minutes.”)
-  Call parents whose home is to be used for a party. On party night, don’t be afraid to stop in to say hello (and make sure that adult supervision is in place).
-  Make it easy to leave a party where drugs are being used.
-  Discuss in advance how to signal you or another designated adult who will come to pick your child up the moment they feel uncomfortable. Later, be prepared to talk about what happened.
-  Know what your children are doing such as their activites and how they spend their time.
-  When you see it, praise their good behavior and achievements and even reward them for such.
-  Set limits with clear rules and consequences for breaking them and make sure they are enforceable and non-bendable.
-  Get to know your child’s friends. Have a small party at your house and invite the friends and their parents.
-  Work with other parents to get a list of everyone’s addresses, e-mails, and phone numbers so you can keep in touch with your child.
-  Occasionally check to see that your kids are where they say they are going to be.
-  3PM to 6PM are the hours most kids get into trouble with drugs. Try to be with them then, but if you can’t make sure that your child is doing something positive and with adult supervision such as sports, clubs, jobs, after-school programs, or religious youth groups.  If they are at home make sure that they are doing homework or chores.

3. Then we can work to build a relationship with your child.  This build up credit with your chiuld so that when you have to punish him or her, or set limits, it’s less stressful. With that strong bond, your child will most likely see your rule or punishment as an act of love. 

You may:
a)  First, listen.
It’s important that you take time to listen to your kids. Try to find time to be with your child when he or she asks to talk to you. Remember, they can tell when you’re pretending to listen. Here are a few tips:
* Ask open-ended questions that encourage conversation.
*  Avoid questions that kids can answer with a simple yes or no.
*  Make it clear that you are listening and trying to understand your child’s point of view.
*  When your child describes events, repeat what you think your child has just told you.
*  When they use words or slang that you don’t understand, ask them to clarify or explain.
* Establish weekly together time in which you and your child do something alone with each other that allows your child to talk. Tap into what your child is good at by having them teach you something (for example. searching the net, dancing, fishing, etc).

b) Be A Good Role Model

Be a role model - the person you want your kid to be. What stronger anti-drug message is there?
 
Keep these tips in mind:
- Be a living, day-to-day example of your value system.
- Show the compassion, honesty, generosity and openness you want your child to have.
- Know that there is no such thing as “do as I say, not as I do” when it comes to drugs.
- If you take drugs, you can’t expect your child to take your advice. Seek professional help if necessary.

Examine Your Own Behavior
If you abuse drugs or alcohol, your kids are going to pick up on it. Or if you laugh at a drunk or stoned person in a movie, you may be sending the wrong message to your child.

c) Be Firm.
Parents should state clearly to their pre-teens and teens that they would be very disappointed if they started using marijuana. Parents may also want to explain that marijuana use interferes with young people’s concentration, memory, and motor skills, and that it interferes with motivation, leads to poorer school performance, and can cause users to disappoint the people most important to them. All of this can be communicated in a loving way: “I love you and I want the best for you, so I hope you won’t try marijuana.”
Some parents who saw marijuana being widely used in their youth still wonder, “Is marijuana really so bad for my child?”
The answer is an emphatic “yes!” Not convinced? Need more reasons?

Read these:
- Marijuana is illegal.
- Marijuana now exists in forms that are stronger - with higher levels of THC, the psychoactive ingredient - than in the 1960s. Studies show that someone who smokes five joints a week may be taking in as many cancer-causing chemicals as someone who smokes a full pack of cigarettes every day. 
- Hanging around users of marijuana often means being exposed not only to other illegal drugs, but also to a lifestyle that can include trouble in school, engaging in sexual activity while young, unintended pregnancy, difficulties with the law, and other problems.
- Marijuana use can slow down reaction time and distort perceptions. This can interfere with athletic performance, decrease a sense of danger, and increase risk of injury.
- Regular marijuana users can lose the ability to concentrate that is needed to master important academic skills, and they can experience short-term memory loss.
- Habitual marijuana users tend to do worse in school and are more likely to drop out altogether.
- Teens who rely on marijuana as a chemical crutch and refuse to face the challenges of growing up never learn the emotional, psychological, and social lessons of adolescence.