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Freeman Cebu Lifestyle

What's the use of worrying?

POR VIDA - POR VIDA By Archie Modequillo -
Mankind's ability to think - to understand and speculate - gives him the greatest edge over all else in the animal kingdom. But such advantage does not come without a price. The power to figure out future possibilities also causes mankind unnecessary troubles. One example is the propensity to worry. Worrying is not a bad thing altogether. In fact, it is a good thing when kept to the minimum. Fretting helps us anticipate problems, and so enables us to plan solutions ahead of time. Especially in the primitive times, the ability to speculate about danger was a big advantage. But today, this valuable human skill has brought many of us into a dark fantasy world and gives us habits that brings nothing but weariness and misery.

At its most intense, worrying becomes an emotional disturbance. The incidence of chronic worrying is presently at a tremendous rate that about eight percent of the population is afflicted. The sufferers are mostly women, perhaps because of their special sensitive nature. In spite of the so-called women's gift of intuition, most of the fears that inhabit the female mind never come to pass.

The imagined threats that haunt worriers are usually accompanied by sleeplessness, fatigue and muscle tension. These symptoms can then turn into depression, hypochondria or even obsessive-compulsive behavior. Indeed, chronic worrying is a real health problem.

The scientific circle, realizing the seriousness of the problem, has been conducting extensive studies on how anxiety makes its way into the mind and how to stop it. What has been found so far is helping the millions of fretters around the world understand and contain their problem.

The worried behavior starts early. It is estimated that worrying is 30 percent inherited. And even if you were not born with a particularly fretful nervous system, experiences in childhood or adolescence can bring it on. Sometimes the trigger is a catastrophic event. Many people who have experienced great life difficulties are never able to shake off their fear of future misfortunes.

Overprotective or domineering parents may play a role, too. Some parents simply dictate rules instead of helping the child develop instincts for knowing what is and is not worth fearing. Under so much shield, the kid develops a sense that he has no control over his world and that he must be wary about everything. Very commonly, worriers are those who were thrust too soon into adult roles; those who, as kids, were responsible for the safety of their siblings or even of their parents, or of the family's wellbeing in general. Close to two-thirds of chronic worriers have an over-nurturing personality.

For instance, an over-protective mother may become nervous at the thought that her teenage son has just learned to drive. She gets restless. Every time the son goes out on the family car, the mother calls him on the cell phone every five minutes, and then stands at the window until the youngster returns home. A non-worrier parent will view such behavior as exaggerated or irrational. The normal feeling is that nothing bad is likely to occur. Even as it is natural for a parent to be concerned, he trusts that his child will take care and be alright. But the worrier intuits that her child keeps returning home safely because she keeps vigil. In the rare instance when one of her fears is proven valid, the more she thinks that her worries will always materialize.

In a study involving worriers, events turned out much better than they had anticipated. What they feared rarely happened. And in the few cases when something bad did actually happen, it was not as bad as the worriers had earlier imagined, and they were able to cope a lot better than they thought they could. An intriguing recent finding is that anxiety doesn't at all prepare people for real events but, instead, numb their senses as a result of the unnecessary seeping away of mental and physical energies. Too much worrying can weaken the body and render it inflexible, and thus unable to deal effectively with actual situations. Chronic worriers are like soldiers perpetually bracing themselves for trouble. When the enemy appears, they are too bewildered to fight the best way they can, their brain unable to distinguish what to take seriously amid the endless series of apprehensions.

For many, the worrying habit has been going on so long that it has become automatic. Even under the best of conditions - a successful career, a supportive spouse and brilliant kids - a worrier will always find reasons to worry about. There are, of course, a lot to worry about in life: work, the kids' education, the family's health, interpersonal conflicts, money. But these concerns are common to all; yet some are immobilized by thoughts of bleak possibilities while others are able to enjoy life in spite of the uncertainties.

It helps for everyone to remember that there are no guarantees in life. That it's how one handles the uncertainties that determines the quality of his life experience. Happy people find it exciting to be always guessing what may come, and do the best they can to prepare for anything. And, indeed, it would take so much of the fun of living if we were to know exactly what tomorrow will bring. (E-MAIL: [email protected])

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