For Searching The One

I think at one point in every person's life, he or she believes in The One - that one soulmate meant to be forever. Our longing for the perfect person is fueled by fairy tales that end with happily ever after, novels that orbit around two lost lovers and movies that always bring the two leads together by the time the credits roll. We come to believe that indeed there is The One person out there in the world who would know us inside and out and who would love us beyond eternity.

But then at another point in every person's life, he or she becomes jaded and cynical. After kissing a lot of frogs, it feels almost impossible to find one's prince. After relentlessly looking for the lady who fits the glass shoe, maybe Cinderella is just a myth. Does The One really exist? Or is that right person for us just locked away in the fairy tales?

My Mom tells us over and over again how she knew that my Dad was the one for her. They met through mutual friends and they hit it off right away. But even then, my Mom, a devout Catholic, wanted to make sure he was The One for her. So she prayed and asked St. Therese for a sign that indeed my Dad was the one for her. She asked for red roses as a signal. The next day - was it by total coincidence?- my Dad arrived at her doorstep, with a huge bouquet of red roses. It was then my Mom knew he was the one she had to be with and they've been married ever since.

An aunt of mine once told me of her love that got away. But she hadn't known until decades later. Just last year, she visited an Indian Catholic priest who was known to be a sage. He was a big man with a kind face and gentle soul. The priest was able to tell her children's ages and parts of her life. My Tita shared with him her rather troubled life- she was unlucky in health and in love, having separated from her philandering husband and another capricious man afterwards. She spilled her guts and frustrations to him. Then suddenly he asked her, "Did you have a boyfriend before the man you got married to?" Surprised, my Tita told him about her first love. Though they were very much in love and were together for a long time, they hadn't gotten married because my Tita felt the guy's mother didn't approve of her. The priest then told her, "But you weren't going to get married to the mother anyway. That man was actually the man for you. If you had married him instead, you would've had a happy life."

When my Tita told me her story, I remember getting goosebumps. You can sue me for being a crazy romantic, but I've believed in The One ever since then. But I don't believe when people say, "Kung kamo gyud, kamo gyud ang magka-dayun (if you are meant to be together, then you two will be together)." That's a common fatalist belief in our culture. Sorry, but I think that's a load of crap. Why are there so many separated and divorced couples? And men and women who never marry at all? I think Fate is not going to keep throwing a person at you over and over again till you finally stick to that person. We have been poisoned by cheesy drama movies and fairy tales. But on finding The One? I have no doubt that you will meet him or her at least once in your life. But it's up to you whether or not you take the chance to be with your destiny. It's up to you to work things out with The One you choose to live with forever.

So many times we let opportunities, chances and people pass us by. We never realize what we lose till it's gone. We end up closing our eyes and minds to so many possibilities. What a waste of so many chances! Call it a cornball thing, but I still believe in signs. I asked the Lord for them all the time and yes, He does show them to me. What's your personal sign?

This Valentine's Day, don't ask yourself if the person is perfect or if you are, but whether or not you two are perfect for each other. Find someone you feel safe enough with to let your truest self step out. If you can be completely and honestly who are and still feel loved, then you are with a great love. A soulmate is one who reveals the best part of the other. With that one person, no matter what goes on around us, we're safe in our own paradise. The One is one who shares our sense of direction and dreams and who's willing to work things out so we can reach the stars, together.

As the world celebrates Valentine's Day, I walk through the myriad of flowers that color the streets. I look at a huge bouquet of roses and remember my parents' love story. Dad could've picked up tulips or carnations or even pink roses instead of red. Or he could've chosen not to bring flowers at all. What were the chances? A bouquet of red roses in exchange for a love that spanned the decades.