They might have started with the little town of Bethlehem. Having realized that God had intended to be born in the outskirts of the city, in a cave or a stable (whichever version one reads), they would have begun by promising to build a state of the art building. Contractors would be asked to complete the major task in less than a year and embroil themselves in a major controversy that would have townsfolk speculating where the funds were going. They might even give it an acronym to make it sound important like the BIBB (Bethlehem International Building of Birth) or some fancy name like that.
And while half the town was busy building that, they would employ the other half to whitewash the surrounding houses. I mean, it simply wouldn't do if eyesores dotted the way to Bethlehem.
Then, they might have made sure that the roads where all asphalted about two inches thick. God forbid that Mary and Joseph's donkey should step into a pothole and realize how poor the city was. And made sure that all the lampposts and anything that was long and thin was painted yellow. They're not exactly sure what that was for. There was always time for a conspiracy theory to be speculated later.
Then of course, there's the blocking off of certain roads that will inconvenience the public. But the fact that it happens once seems enough reason. There would definitely be dry runs. Mary and Joseph would have to have stand-ins to make sure that everything turned out perfectly. They might even think of having people line the streets with little flaglets of the tribe of David.
And as for the three kings' arrival, that of course would have to be taken care of. They would be allowed of course anywhere from 20-100 members of their retinue-courtiers, magicians, camel drivers. And speaking of camels, these would have to be bullet-proofed lest some strange terrorist have an intent to create a disturbance-for which the Roman soldiers stand guard in every corner. These Roman soldiers, by the way, would have been brought in from the surrounding towns, overextending the local garrison and leaving the soldiers to sleep along the streets of the city. But, really, who cares about them when there are such important people coming? I'm sure they think that the Savior wouldn't mind. It is after all in the interest of showing off to the rest of the world...I mean, in the interest of promoting peace and goodwill to all men. Yes, I'm sure that would have been the press release.
Then they would tell the little drummer boy that there was simply no way for him to play his drums. He wouldn't even need to go to school. Children were meant to be not seen nor heard, after all. And his education is simply not as important as some of the grown-up stuff that's going to go on. Besides, wouldn't he really love to have some time off to play and watch some tv? Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum is so old school.
No it wouldn't really be a stretch of an imagination how that first Christmas might have turned out if the ASEAN organizers had gotten their hands on it. Bethlehem would definitely not be called still. And there would be no silent nights to sing about. It would be, in fact, a bustling little town, filled with all sorts of motorcades and festivals that would make headlines everywhere in the world.
And yet, I thank God that they didn't get their hands on it. Because a Bethlehem summit would have no place for the weak, the weary, the blind, the lame. It would be closed off from all strangers. And there would be no shepherds because they were too poor. We would not hear Mary and Joseph calling us inside because it was too noisy outside. We would feel excluded and uninvited because we had no special passes and the roads were closed. Children would not be welcome there and there would be no place for laughter and singing, only polite, politically-charged conversations.
Thank goodness for the Divine Event Planner who played it out the way it did. For while He thought that pomp and pageantry were good (they did after all have all those choirs of angels and the three kings), He also showed that humility, simplicity and poverty were infinitely better.