Self-portrait of the soul

SELF-PORTRAIT usually refers to a painting of oneself done by oneself. However, it also depicts a representation, a description, or a portrayal of an individual by himself. Characteristically, that person is someone who is identified in the fields of art, craft, skill, profession or career. He possesses a particular ability to produce an image, to relate in words, to act out a role. Of course, he tasks himself to perform these things for others, but, at his whim, he can opt to do it himself.

Let us pick some personalities and reflect on this situation. We have Vincent Van Gogh, the Dutch artist, who did a painting of his own profile. This self-portrait canvas work is now hailed as one of the masterpieces in the world of art. Worth mentioning is actor-author-soldier-hero Audie Murphy. He played himself in a movie, "To Hell and Back," which was based on a book of the same title that he himself wrote.

The book accounts his war exploits as America's most decorated WWII soldier. A good case of another celebrity in a self-portraying role is basketball star Yao Ming, when he starred in "Yao," a film about his rise to the NBA. Autobiographies are obvious manifestations of authors writing about their memoirs, as in Hillary Rodham Clinton's "Living History."

Of these notables, let's do a quick zoom-in on Van Gogh. An emotionally disturbed painter, he went through a turbulent life. A suffering soul who, beset with psychotic attacks, sliced off part of his left ear. Kept in an asylum, he attempted suicide by swallowing paint, then finally shot himself to death. Yet, he is Van Gogh, the man with the power to create, to paint life.

This is the self-portrait of his soul. I see the reflection of agony in it. The painting is just a self-portrait showing his looks. We are referring to one's soul - the inner self, the true self. That spiritual, emotional and moral nature of a person. That immaterial and immortal part of a human being. In short, soulfulness.

The face in a portrait, the bust in a sculpture, the image of a caricature, the depiction of a cartoon, the figure in an engraving - these are just outer appearances. But we cannot say the depth of the artistry lacks soul. Sometimes art does mirror one's real self. Artists are a special breed endowed with more prolific, originative and intellectual profoundness. They are soulfully creative. They know where to grope for beauty and create it when we cannot really fathom the meant beauty when created.

Each one of us has our own self-portrait of the soul. Since we are not Van Goghs who can create lasting self-image masterpieces, we can at least make up for it with a deeper discernment on the portrayal of our inner soul. It is more important than having a Mona Lisa face on canvas or a Tiger Woods swinging figure on a giant wall. What we do is to make our soul beautiful. Keep in mind that when the soul is exuding immaculate purity and warmth, it will be embraced. When it is shining with virtues and affections, it will be endearing. When it is a full house of values and goodness, it will be enshrined.

It is the inner personality that matters. This soul force in us can work wonders because it is concentrated only on the intangible, the aura, the inward feeling. A sorry state is that when we become self-centered, self-righteous, self-glorifying, we have no more self-portrait of our soul to paint. Desire of the mundane has encroached upon us and we should be aware lest the light of our soul tapers off. Our credibility, honor and probity will go down the drain. We are supposed to design a beautiful, lasting, impressionistic obra de maestro of a soul portrait that will be deserving of merit, appreciation and emulation.

Looks like we have to take care of two portraitures - the persona and the anima. The personifications of the way we appear and the way we are inside. Aside from the soul portrait, we have to square up to that of the physical appearance. The troubled Van Gogh may look fine in his self-portrait. The dictatorial Napoleon may look eloquent in a bust. The spying Mata Hari may look sweet in her stage show poster. We can notice the conflicting features here. This is but the surface disposition and does not well mean the inner center.

Usually, our outer and inner personalities come together in traits, attributes and behaviors that are truly identical. Men of honor and goodness are the exemplification of their virtues. Of course, there are diversities that are inevitable. The face of one may be beautiful but the heart is not. Underneath the face of a clown may be the impersonation of the opposite as with the one donning the costume. Behind the masquerade are hidden a thousand characters. Our concern is to go after those of blue-chip qualities. Self-portrayal, as indicated in the prefix "self", connects us to some other properties that read just like it, as in self-sacrifice, self-discipline, self-reliance, etc. These hallmark features tell us that no one but us is going to make a good picture of ourselves - inwardly, outwardly. So we must nurture the traits of self-confidence, self-determination in the pursuit of our dreams and be called self-made. Altogether, everything here is all about life. How we approach it. How we color it. How we play it.

This is the way to paint the self-portrait of our soul. We present our true being in a manner worthy of a painting hanging on a wall in the Louvre.