I'd never thought I'd see the day that I'd be writing about Bones and how it got me thinking about my romantic life. But here it is. Some years ago, I had a friend who said he was in love with me. We had an opportunity, I sort of grabbed it, but when someone I loved before him came back, I let go of this friend. I wouldn't say it's my biggest regret, but I will confess to wondering how my life would be different now if I had given that a real shot. It could have been epic. Or, maybe not.
Last weekend, I was doing my Bones Season 6 marathon catch-up, and I caught the episode in which forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance Brennan's partner, FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, tells her he had met someone—after she tearfully confesses that she had realized she wanted to give them a chance.
If you follow the series, you will remember that in Season 5, Booth told Brennan how he felt about her. To this day, I still quote his power lines: "You know when you talk to older couples who, you know, have been in love for 30 or 40 or 50 years, alright, it's always the guy who says 'I knew.' I knew. Right from the beginning." And trust Brennan to reply: "Your evidence is anecdotal."
So it was some kind of crazy beautiful that Booth, when he went off to Iraq, met a beautiful American journalist and fell in love. And Brennan, while solving a case in Season 6, realized what she had said no to—something, or someone, that could be her biggest regret.
Of course, all those who had sympathized with Booth felt the bittersweetness of his reply: "I'm with someone, Bones. And Hannah, she's not a consolation prize. I love her." And yet, I'm sure they resonated with the pain Brennan felt as she wept openly.
In the episode where Booth rejected Brennan, she was working on a case: A woman had died mysteriously, and nobody had been aware of her absence. The woman's profile was very much like Brennan's: She was a successful MD, had a solid career as a surgeon, was beautiful and single. But she, too, was too into her shell to give a man who loved her a shot. Working on the case causes Brennan's wall to crack, and finally she comes face to face with her feelings for Booth.
Still, it all seems too late.
In the same episode, Brennan befriends a security guard at the Jeffersonian. Portrayed by guest star Enrico Colantoni, Micah Leggat, imaginary or not, attends all the lectures at the institute. Micah tells Brennan about a lecture he heard on perceptual adaptation. A scientist asked people to wear glasses that showed the world upside-down, and the world righted itself after three days. When they were asked to remove the glasses, they still saw the world upside-down, until it righted itself again after three days.
When Booth rejected Brennan, she mentioned that experiment. And a sparse yet infinitely sad exchange followed:
Brennan: I got the signal, Booth. I don't wanna have any regrets.
Booth: Um, I'm with someone, Bones. And, uh, Hannah? She's not a consolation prize. I love her. You know, the last thing I wanna do is hurt you, but those are the facts.
Brennan: I understand. I missed my chance. My whole world turned upside down. I can adjust.
Booth: I did.
Brennan: Yes, you did.
When I finally told that friend that I wanted to be with him, he wouldn't believe me, and then, after some rocky, icky episodes, we parted ways, even as friends. Sometimes, I still hear from him, and sometimes, I still think what if. That's what I do: Think of the what-ifs.
But we've probably adjusted. It's been years.
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