A 'How-To' on finding the one

Seeking 'The One' is perhaps one of the most mind-boggling of all human activities so much people employ sundry means to unearth the course and direction of their love lives-from consulting the alignment of stars, making sense of every crease and callus of one's palm, to summoning some supernatural signs.

Books have come in bounty as well, and perhaps counting on the awareness that women belabor over this matter than the opposite sex, a lot of how-to's are being written with a "concerned" man's point of view. Some approached it with psychological and experiential findings, while others dipped into the spiritual, such as the very popular book that arrived via foreign shores-I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

Well, surprise, surprise: another book on the same subject holds court as it prides itself as a myth-busting, liberating, humor-laden book of reference that hardly disguises its objective starting with the title: How To Find Your One True Love. The book, which is the current no. 1 best-selling book in National Bookstore, in a way, breaks ground because with its Pinoy author, the content is, contextually speaking, closer to home.

While the book doesn't specify an audience, the author-the sought-after lay evangelist, publisher, TV and radio host Bo Sanchez-admits that it mostly addresses the concerns of single women, especially those who are inching towards or have rode past their 30s.

When I decided to give this book for a friend on her birthday, a guy friend-the timbre of his voice dripping with sarcasm-commented: "Why does it have to be religious?" True, the spiritual insights are there, but the author makes sure to spruce it as well with practical advice, including how to, ahem, capture the admiring glances of a "great catch". (Read: A decent, available, commitment-ready man and who, by the way, happens to be your type as well.)

So, what makes this multi-hyphenated author such a specialist on this subject matter? He wrote that his discernment on a lifetime vocation virtually lasted for 18 years to the point that he entered an international celibate brotherhood, planned on putting up a congregation of priests, lived in a hut looking after orphans, abandoned elderly, and the handicapped...

But the self-confessed happily-married father of two offers eight steps in discovering your vocation and ultimately, in attracting that "One True Love" without having to consume nearly two decades and having to go through a sorrowful slew of trials and errors in the process.

And he answers some questions that probably linger the most on many a single person's lips:

Question: Is there really just one person out there for me? His answer: "This insane belief is so popular. God has not pre-selected one person out there for you. God's will actually contain a few good men to choose from."

Question: Can the woman make the first move? His answer: "(Men) are hunters, but most are coward hunters. So if you like a man, you need to give a specific look-a non-verbal message that says: 'I'm not sure, but maybe, just maybe...should you decide to pursue me, you may find great friendship...' Notice there's a lot of 'maybe's' there. There has to be a sense of mystery.... [and] the thrill of the chase."

Question: Is it okay to flirt? His answer is that there is such a thing as flirtsome or wholesome flirting. "I'm referring to the way a woman intentionally attracts a man to notice her in a wholesome, friendly way."

Question: How will I know if this man is really for me? His answer: "Don't look for supernatural signs, look for ordinary ones" and "Create-write down-a non-negotiable list and stick to it. Know what you want in a spouse, because you get what you settle for."

Of course, the more detailed answers-including top 11 secrets to hoist up those (physical attraction) levels-will have to remain in the book, which is affordably priced just a little over P200. The bottomline of the book is that you have to take charge of your love life, like the way you assume responsibility over the other areas of your life such as career decisions.

Postscript on the biggest Hollywood wedding to date

Just an addendum, while we are on the subject of love, Hollywood's Tom Cruise, over the weekend, has taken a third shot at marriage and forever love. It has all the trappings of a fairytale wedding, from the starry-starry attendance to the royal venue-but if he failed at his first two marriages, what could possibly make him succeed in his third with Katie Holmes? And, I don't know if it's just me, but haven't you noticed that the practicing Scientologist seems to have a penchant for Catholic women-or at least, the last three women in his life-Nicole Kidman (whose disinterest in Scientology and return to the Catholic faith were widely rumored to have brought about the disintegration of her marriage with Tom), Penelope Cruz and of course, Holmes, whose devout Catholic parents were reportedly planning to boycott the wedding.

With the trend nowadays of altering wedding vows, nothing is more unorthodox perhaps than a traditional Scientology ceremony. According to an AFP report, it would include such advice to the groom as "Now -----, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will, but still they need them." The bride is then told: "Hear well, sweet -----, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him that you may have necessities and follies, too."