Be Gay, Be Good and Be Proud

This week spelled so much fuss over the battle of gay impersonator Inday Garutay, who cried discrimination after he was ordered to leave a restaurant in Ortigas for reportedly dressing inappropriately. The incident happened last July 4, but it's still generating much talk since Garutay appeared before the Senate last Wednesday for the hearing of Senator Bong Revilla's Anti-Discrimination Bill. For sure, the discriminating restaurant called Aruba at the Metrowalk in Ortigas is now having a dose of its own medicine since it could no longer have the so-called "pink peso" in its cash register, as the gay and lesbian community is calling for a boycott against the establishment.

I definitely support Garutay's cause calling for respect and equality not because I want to be a cross-dresser, but simply because as a citizen in a democratic country, I have the right to do whatever pleases me as long as I'm not stepping on someone else's toes. As a creation of God, Inday Garutay, just like anybody else, deserves fair treatment, acceptance and equality. There is nothing wrong with being gay. The thoughts, acts and words are what make one sinful. They say "nothing is permanent in this world except change," yet a lot of Filipinos have never changed. It's a shame, because for a country of devout Catholics, majority is still judgmental. Why can't we just mind our own business, do our own thing and be happy?

Let me share to you a speech I delivered five years ago before my fellow toastmasters at my adopted family, Queen City Toastmasters Club. This was my basic speech number two that required me to speak with sincerity. I just want to illustrate how things have never changed with regards to gay and lesbian treatment. Imagine, this piece entitled "Of Moral and Faith" was born five years ago out of a truthful observation of how things went on around me. Yet things have remained the same, especially if we take into account Garutay's fate.

Are you moral and divine? Who are you to say I'm sinner and my world is sinful? Why do you judge me as if I'm stupid, absurd and most of all an outcast? Why? Are you God?

Toastmaster of the evening, fellow toastmasters and guests, a pleasant evening!

I'm gay and I'm proud of being one. After all, we are the most unique individuals the Almighty God has ever created. I stand before you tonight not for myself in particular but for the gays in the Philippines in general, who until now are longing for acceptance and freedom. While it is true that the third sex is now beginning to gain favorable support and open mindedness of the people in the country, still a vast majority of Filipinos remain old fashioned and judgmental. Gays are often branded as lustful, insolent and happy go lucky creatures that have nothing to talk about but men and the man we screwed up the previous night. You accuse us of misbehavior, but do you know that it is the way you treat us that makes us wild and vulgar?

Tell me I am wrong, but is it not true that when a gay who speaks and dresses like a woman rides with you in a jeepney, you laugh at him in silence and then give him an accusing look as if he is a criminal and more often than not you raise your brows in indictment? Is it not true that when you see a gay in clogs and in thick make up you shout at him to the point of cursing and calling him names? Why? Confucius even once said, "Don't do unto others what you don't want others do unto you." Why are you like that? Have you forgotten that if you have the right to exist in this wonderful world, so are we? If you have the freedom of expression, we are also entitled to it. We inhale the same air you breathe, sip the same water you drink and eat the same kind of food you digest. In short we are also humans, with a mind and heart similar to yours. Then why are you indifferent to our sector?

Enough of hypocrisy! This is a world of sinners not saints. If we deviated from the norms of the society where we belong, then what about those fathers with extra marital affairs with their executive secretaries and co-workers? How about those priests of the Roman Catholic Church who go out with guest relation officers and worse, have children with various women? And what about those mothers who are entangled in lustful affairs with their family drivers? What about those socialites and matrons who are playing fire with dance instructors and call boys? 'Let he who is sinless cast the first stone.' Common, why don't we just mind our own business and concentrate on how to achieve salvation come judgment day?

I can still remember the answers given by seminarian respondents to our college thesis regarding pornographic materials in the Internet. When asked whether pornography is moral or immoral, majority of them said it is amoral-meaning it all depends on what you do and think while watching these obscene materials. But if you just view it as it is-merely pictures-then there is nothing wrong with it. Then in a similar manner, gays are also neither moral nor immoral because it all depends how they celebrate homosexuality.

Now why can't you just accept us as who we are and not what we are? I know it's not that easy and simple. But try to put yourselves in our shoes. Figure this out. What if that gay man is your brother, father or your husband whom you love and care so dearly? Will you still hesitate to accept and set him free? Think about it!

Inday Garutay's case is nothing new. For sure, a lot of gays and lesbians out there have experienced discrimination. They just don't have the guts to speak up lest they be subjected to further humiliation. The scenario that prompted Garutay to file a civil suit demanding P600,000 in damages was an ordinary one. He went to the Aruba bar with his boyfriend to meet his manager to discuss an upcoming show in Japan. After arriving ahead, Garutay went to the ladies room and when he came back he was told by a female manager to leave because the restaurant has a dress code to follow. At that time, Garutay wore a beige blouse and a pair of black lady slacks. LAGABLAB, the gay and lesbian advocacy network that was the first to denounce the incident, said the restaurant could never use its dress code in its defense because nothing is stated in there that cross dressers are not allowed in the restaurant. It only said no slippers, no sandos and sandals, no wearing of hats in any kind. It states that the management can refuse entry to those who are inappropriately dressed, mentally depraved, and incorrigibly uncool, which for LAGABLAB crusaders is another form of discrimination. But whatever happens to Garutay's case is up to the court now. Let the arms of law reach out to whoever is liable.

My only hope for now is that the anti-discrimination bill, especially the one authored by Senator Revilla, will eventually be passed into law, not because I can benefit from it but rather for the good of other gays and lesbians at large who are voiceless and powerless to assert their rights and benefits. To end this piece, let me say Be Gay, Be Good and Be Proud!

* * *

Catch FHM cover girl Valerie Concepcion at noon today at the Gaisano Main Foodsquare for the launching of the Gaisano Main and Countrymall's August Moon Dice Festival.

Greetings: Belated happy birthday to my good friend and one of the strong pillars of the Cebu Media, multi-awarded broadcast journalist Bobby Nalzaro (August 11), happy birthday to Mr Alex Gaisano and advance happy birthday to fellow columnist, good friend and TV personality Angela Calina (August 13). React at [email protected]. You may also view my previous columns at www.ryanmark.blogspot.com