You are what you say

Because if you listen closely, you can read between the lines and notice the codewords that disguise our inner fears, self-doubts, and worries that block our success in the first place.

Here are the seven most common (and self-sabotaging) phrases there are. While we all say these occasionally, it's critical to notice when you do. That way, you can dig deep, see yourself truthfully, and finally overcome what’s limiting you.

1. “I Don’t Have Enough Time.”

When I was a salestrainer, the most common excusewas that they didn't have enough time (or other things took up too much time).

But that’srubbish.If you don’t want to do it or don’t care, that may be fine. But lying to yourself that you “don’t have time” hurts your progress because you’re masking the real problem. Start saying that you do have time and start being honest with yourself, and you’ll start making progress.

2. “I’m Focusing On Other Things.”

You’ll sometimes hear people defer and delay their goals by saying something like, “After I finish ____, then I’ll work on my goals.”

But there’s a big difference between a “priority” and an “excuse” to postpone your dreams. The hard truth is if you can’t start right now—with all of life’s imperfections—you probably won’t start even when the perfect moment arrives. To succeed, you have to be honest with yourself: Are you willing to put in the effort and make the sacrifices to get what you want in your life?

3. “I Can’t Change Who I Am.”

people think of themselves as fixed—nothing will change who they are and they’re stuck to that identity. Then, you’ll hear someone say, “That’s just who I am,” as they repeat a self-defeating pattern they’ve had for some time.

But that is completely false. The fact is we all change and, more importantly, we have the power to consciously shape who we are—it just takes effort and commitment. Yet the more you believe you can’t, the more you’ll protect and defend your personality, which blocks you from new opportunities, challenging yourself, and growing.

4. “I Know.”

The problem with saying “I know” — especially if you’re struggling — is it stunts your growth. You’ll defend and protect your beliefs, and you won’t be open to seeking new information to improve your results.

Instead, start saying, “I don’t know.” Start admitting your lack of knowledge and start getting the help you need from the right resources and people. Having open-mindedness and humility will take you far in life.

5. “I Haven’t Decided Yet.”

In my experience, when someone says they “haven’t decided yet,” it’s a lie. The truth is they don't want to decide or close off options. They want to make a bold decision and “play it safe” at the same time. But they can’t because, to make a concrete choice, they must say no to the alternatives.

When I’m overthinking a decision, it’s not because it’s hard — it’s because I’m scared to commit or be wrong, even though I won’t know if I’m wrong until I choose. But to keep deliberating, delaying, and staying in analysis paralysis, I’ll lose the most precious thing of all: Time.

Being decisive is a powerful life skill because life is, ultimately, a series of big decisions. If you delay them, you can’t move forward; but once you act decisively, you’ll change your future and grow much faster.

6. “I Just Need More ______.”

“I just need more willpower, more motivation, more focus, more information, etc.”

The problem with things like motivation and willpower is that they ebb and flow—somedays you have it, somedays you don’t. To overcome this, build systems and environments to get results.

Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable; use external pressure and build momentum by breaking things down into smaller chunks.

Learn to take action with whatever you already have, get to the next step, and gain whatever you need to get to the step after that. Then, keep repeating that cycle. That’s how you build momentum and make progress.

7. “I’m Thinking About…”

This will sound brutal, but in my experience, 9 out of 10 times someone is “thinking about” doing something, they never do it.

Instead, start saying, “I’m committed to _______,” or, “I’m going to learn what it takes to do ________.” Also, take a few steps forward and then tell people about it.Because ultimately, the people who get what they want in life aren’t “thinking about” it—they’re actually “doing” it!

My final suggestion: Become self-aware of the messages embedded within the phrases you say and watch your life soar!

I am really interested in your feedback; contact me at [email protected]