Say what?

Earlier this week, I brought my vehicle to the shop for a thorough check-up.  The head mechanic informed me that the entire process would take up most of the day.  So I commuted to work and had, pretty much, a typical day.  When quitting time came, I went out to hail a taxi cab.  At the spot I had chosen to stand to get a cab, the local transport office’s alpha task force decided to set up a checkpoint. 

Sensing that this would be prime opportunity to watch our hard earned taxes at work, I decided to stick around and watch the scene unfold.  And boy, did I have a heyday.  Let me share with you excerpts of actual conversations between the task force and a few errant ‘licensed’ individuals (and may lightning strike me down if I am lying, for this actually happened.  I kid you not).

Task Force 1:  Sir, license and registration please?

Scooter Boy 1:  Uhm, I don’t have my license with me.  I left it in my office.  Why?  What’s my violation?

Me: (muttering)  Does driving without a license ring a bell?

* * *

Scooter Boy 2:  What’s my violation?

Task Force 2:  Sir, your scooter doesn’t have mirrors on them.

Scooter Boy 2:  What’s wrong with that?  I don’t need them.

Me: (muttering again) You don’t need a root canal either, so get rid of your teeth.

* * *

Task Force 3:  Ma’am, regarding your license, your current classification doesn’t allow you to drive a scooter.

Scooter Girl 1:  What’s wrong with that?

Me: (still muttering) Yeah, what’s wrong with a car mechanic performing heart surgery?

* * *

Me:  Hey look, the driver of that luxury sedan isn’t wearing his seatbelt.

Task Force 1: *silence*

Crickets: *chirp*chirp*

* * *

Task Force 2:  Sir, I’m issuing you a ticket for not having mirrors on your scooter.

Scooter Boy 2:  Is that an expensive violation?

Task Force 2:  I think so

Me:  (back to muttering) You think so?!?!

* * *

Me:  Hey look, the police officer driving that vehicle labelled Balamban Police isn’t wearing a seatbelt!

Task Force 1, 2 and 3: (looks at the police van and looks away) *silence*

Crickets: *louder chirping*

* * *

With sunlight slowly fading and sensing the fun about to end soon, I decided to hail a cab and pick up my vehicle from the repair shop.

I learned a couple of new things that day.  It seems that the alpha task force of the local transport office is only tasked to flag down bumbling idiots on scooters.  Seatbelt violations and the like must be assigned to some other task force.  I suggest abandoning the Greek alphabet names and use planet names instead, like maybe Uranus.

I have also gained a deeper understanding of the kind of logic people equipped to drive scooters have… nothing!  It is no wonder that these scooter drivers weave in and out of lanes, drive against the flow of traffic, crowd the crosswalk at an intersection, turn into no-turn zones, drive with helmetless kids as passengers, and always claim that every traffic collision is not their fault even if they caused it.

After that incident, I’ve spent a couple of sleepless nights thinking about how many of these inept ‘licensed’ individuals are also of the age to choose the future leaders of our city, province and country.  I shudder at the thought.