Calling for men power!

For the past twenty or so years now, I have been an advocate for women’s rights and gender in development.   Years ago, women of Asia were considered to be among the most marginalized, having the minimum of rights and access to economic opportunities. This made them dependent on men and always took the back seat making the men gloat in their machismo to the point of oppression. In underdeveloped third word zones, domestic violence where women were maltreated and abused was commonplace and accepted.

The growing exploitation of women from their domestic domains to public places spurred more developed nations to come to the rescue which launched the Women in Development or WID program. But the non-government organizations who were fielded in the developing and underdeveloped nations who started the campaign for women education and empowerment noticed as early as the 1990s that the men could end up marginalized if only women were given programs. So they launched the Gender in Development program to give equal attention to both the needs of men and women in poverty-stricken and oppression-prone areas.

That was several years ago now, and we can see the positive results of the efforts to empower women.   Today, women play major roles in nation-building. Some even hold key positions in government and have great influence in business and civil society. The downside is that as women learned to earn and take on leadership roles in their communities, they became the competitors of the men. Not bad really for that was in fact the objective. Until… men got retrenched, lost their jobs, and lost their vigor and zest.

In work opportunities, observably there are more women today who hold key positions in areas of influence.   With the growing awareness among women of the vitality of their role as wives and responsible citizens, some have put on the proverbial pants of the man of the house and taken on the role of breadwinner and decision-maker displacing the husband’s throne. 

Since more and more women have shown determination and bankability they have gained better positions in business. Women who work in multi-tasks have the appropriate multi-skill to match which is somewhat second nature to them, having to take care of the home, the husband and the children. The growing confidence of women has somehow made men end up with minor roles in certain occasions and situations.   With the stereotyped psyche of men, this role does not fit into the order of things with man as the ever created warrior, beast fighter and protector no longer fits into the mold. 

The lack of occupation of some men have affected them negatively. This has given them more time to feel insecure or to grow a mat of insensitivity and enjoy the benefits of irresponsibility. 

And true to their calling to be the helper of the husband, the women take on the breadwinning role adding more fuel to the weak ego of the male. The women-focused programs of government and non-government organizations alike have somehow not improved this situation.

What am I calling for then? I need the men to gain back their pride and their role as breadwinners and responsible individuals. They need to be given opportunities to rise above themselves and regain their pride as men to take charge of their lives and their families.

In the recent programs we have had for women, most of them have lamented about the insufficiency of their husband’s income or the irresponsibility of their spouse. Most of the women declare being overburdened by the roles they have to play. Good news is, these things don’t have to be theirs alone. Husbands can take on the major part.

A shared parenting, shared income-earning and shared responsibility over decisions in the home, create a wholesome environment for the children and instills in them the values that have in the beginning of time been the right order. Where Adam takes Eve as his partner. Where Adam has to toil, provide and protect his family and Eve supports Adam in every way. Where communication makes or breaks relationships, and where faith keeps the determination fervent.

We need programs for men to regain their place. Perhaps in their Corporate Social Responsibility programs, business can think about this.