Plantspeak

We humans are known to give each other headaches. Just watch the news and you will find overwhelming evidence that we seem to do that with such zeal, creativity and determination. And that is not even counting the headaches we give to other creatures — plants and animals alike, whose ancestors have long been here before humans ever were. We largely treated these other creatures as “incidentals” to being alive on this planet which is able to harbor such a variety of them. Well, guess what, these “incidentals” are responding in a more “logical,” “intelligent” way that plants could — something that is so conspicuously absent in humans that make the news these days. That is why I will give up on humans for a while and turn the spotlight on plants.

Just look at what researchers from the National Center of Atmospheric Research in Colorado have accidentally found in plants they were studying in a walnut grove in California. They found that plants manufacture their own kind of aspirin and spew it in the air. Aspirin is known in animals to rev up their immune system to rise up to the challenge of a threat and scientists suspect that aspirin does the same to plants. They also think that spewing this type of painkiller is a way for plants to warn each other of the threats they experience. The funny thing was the researchers found this out by accident. They were actually studying “volatile organic compounds” which means those substances that are spewed by plants into the air. They were surprised to find that the substances these plants emitted included a form of aspirin called methyl salicylate. The details of the experiment and their findings are published in the Sept. 8 issue of the journal Biogeosciences. What the scientists did not find out is whether the production of this painkiller is also one leafy creature’s way of blowing a kiss to the air to warn a hopeful pollinator “not tonight dear, I’ve got a headache.” But strangely enough, another weed is now being under deep interrogation as to its powers that scientists claim rival only the active ingredient in Viagra which is sildenafil.

I have come across a report in the New Scientist last Sept. 26 by Catherine Brahic. Following the pointed promise of this weed in question, I found at least three journal studies, including an entry in the Journal of Impotence Research in 2006 that shed light on this botanical power. These entries date back as far as three years ago to the current journal entry in Journal of Natural Products — a study led by Fr. Mario Dell’ Agli from the University of Milan.

The scientific name of the weed is Epimedium brevicornum (yes, “brevicornum” indicating that it is describing something, which in this case is a “horn” to be hmm, “short”). I have absolutely no means to trace the circumstances or the state of mind of the botanist who named this weed. If I did, I would promptly credit him/her with a sense of humor that I think more scientists should be able to grow in the neuronal yards in their heads. If he/she were Filipino and the proposed bill on “obscenity” — also known as the moronic attempt to curb the Filipino imagination with legislated self-righteousness — passed, then I will visit him/her in jail and plant a tree in his/her honor. But Latin is an ancient language and nothing cuts right to the chase than a direct modern name and the locals in West Africa did just that. They gave it the common name “Horny goat weed.” Those who find that flagrant and obscene can take up their placards and talk to the plants which will most likely arm themselves with painkillers to defend themselves from one of their major sources of pain — humans.

“Horny goat weed” is originally found in West Africa but is said to be now growing in Asia and Europe (and probably in your wishful dreams — in a pot in your bedroom) and most likely your local drug store in its pill form in a couple of years. Now, whether it was promising its potency to goats or to the human male was the subject of the study in the said journal study. They indeed found that the horny goat weed has a compound called “icariin” that inhibits an enzyme that in turn controls blood’s pilgrimage to a man’s southern oracle. Get the pilgrimage going and you most likely will end with some sort of celebration and that is what this “icariin” does — it “bribes” the enzyme gatekeepers to let the raging pilgrims through. The researchers found that a version of this “icariin” is as potent as Viagra and most likely without the side effects that the latter causes.

These are only two of the prized entries from entire botanical biographies in the Plant Kingdom. So if you get bored with yourself and you also have lost a little faith in humans, maybe you can explore the nearest weed, shrub or tree. Maybe these botanical co-inhabitants can teach us a thing or two about the many ways of being alive.

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